No more procrastinating. I decided that chapter two has individually funny sections, all of which are good. It just doesn't make any sense. I'm listening to Owl City. With fronds like these, who needs anemones?
Also, I realized why Give Love Away was so difficult for me this time around. It is what the money in the bank represents to me now. Before it represented literal stuff like a bigger tv or a nice car. For me that's no big deal that's easy to give away. But this year I changed my investment strategy a good bit and started saving more for medium term goals. In my mind what I'm really looking forward to is having a nice house with all the toys, not for me, but so that the kids want to hang there. Nobody ever wanted to hang at my house when I was a kid. [Hello Seattle] I think, I began to think that the money in the bank represented that. Like a great home comes from money and not from the Lord. When I realized that it was so easy to give it up.
And then to top it off, I realized how much we gave last year and then how much we have in the bank this year and I'm like, "What makes me think that God won't be faithful again?" For some reason I forget over and over again that literally everything belongs to God and that ALSO means that he distributes it however he darn well pleases. I still don't know how much we'll give, but at least my attitude is finally tweaked in the right direction.
I think it is a lot like Abraham. You have to be willing to give up what is most valuable to you. Actually it is probably more correct to say that you have to give up (not just be willing) whatever is most valuable to you. If it is good for you or right for you then God returns it and it is his freely given gift. If it's not right for you then you cry yourself to sleep and learn the tiniest bit of Job's lesson. When you question God, sometimes all you get is, "I created the universe. I know what I'm doing." And then sometimes you learn the lesson of Peter and God walks by your side and gently corrects and restores you. Oh God, treat me like Peter! [time together isn't ever quite enough]