The Blog of Jared Kirk

I Am Least Like Myself When I...

2012-01-12T11:00:00.001-05:00

...am with my family.
Not really surprising, is it? When I go home for the holidays and spend a couple of days with my family I act more like the child that I was and less like the man that I am. And it doesn't help that I want my sister to like me and my parents to be proud of me.

But that is more than enough about me. How do you finish that question? I am least like myself when I...

Most of us can think of people or situations that cause us to act like the most awkward versions of ourselves. We feel insecure around them. Unsure of ourselves. Why?

Because we've got some measure of our worth wrapped up in their opinion of us or in how we perform in that situation.

When we rehearse the gospel to ourselves it brings us to the place where we find our worth in God's love for us. And that frees us in a radical way to be who we truly are. Why? Because God loves us exactly for who we are. He doesn't love us because of our religious observance or moral performance, but went to the cross for us in all our brokenness.

Who are you?

2012-01-12T10:53:00.001-05:00

Most of us don't really know who we are. If you ask us, "who are you?" we respond with a list of our hobbies, our occupation, and our family roles.
"Well, I'm outdoorsy, I like to hike, I am an engineer, and a dad to three boys."

Since we don't really know who we are we, cobble together an identity for ourselves. We construct it.
"I'm a mac guy. I'm funny. I like pizza."

But, for people that live in traditional societies an identity is family based and inherited rather than constructed. "I'm a part of this family or that clan."

So when Jesus approaches Nicodemus in John 3 and tells him that he must be born again, what he is saying is that in order to enter the Kingdom, Nicodemus must have a total shift in identity. From family allegiance and racial superiority to an identity that is given by the Spirit.

For those of us who live in a nearly constant state of identity confusion, the great thing about being born again isn't that your identity changes (although it does), but that you finally have an identity that doesn't shift like desert sands. The most important things you can say about who you are will be things that don't change.
"I'm forgiven. I'm God's child. I am accepted by God. I am made worthy by God."

Instead of building our identity on a career, romantic love, acceptance, power, or prestige, we are invited to build our identity around a person. A person who always forgives and always fulfills.

One More Try

2011-12-21T12:39:00.001-05:00

One of the purposes of a wife is to encourage you and lift you up.
And then, one of the purposes of a wife is to keep you humble.

The last post I wrote, which was about identity and being born again, came from an insight I had during one of my morning prayer times. I have ideas that I want to write about every day, but this particular idea had me really excited. So I shared the concept with my wife and what I had discovered while praying. She seemed to really listen and connect with what I was saying. This is important to note, because sometimes I get really excited about things that are, well, boring. And after I told her all about it, I wrote the post. Then I asked her what she thought of the post.

She was merciful.

"Um, well I really liked what you said to me the other day... I'm just not sure you really translated that onto the page." Ouch. The worst part was, I knew she was right. It had nothing to do with whether it was my best work or not (it wasn't) and everything to do with whether the piece transmitted the concept well to the reader (it didn't). I know exactly what I did, too. I tried to take a chapter's worth of material and condense it into a blog post. This was a bad plan.

So I am going to write that piece again. I hope you will indulge me. And this time, I hope it makes sense.

What does it mean to be "born again"?

2011-12-13T16:17:00.002-05:00

When you hear the words "born again," what comes to mind?

For evangelical Christians in the South, those words carry the connotation of conviction, commitment, and experiential religious praxis.

For many secular people those same words carry the connotation of over-zealous, intolerant, unbalanced, perhaps even dangerous. If you will excuse the colloquialism, I think the general vibe secular people get is that people who claim the label "born again" have gone off the deep end and have over-done religious commitment.

But what does that phrase actually mean?

It comes from the Bible. In a very famous passage from the Book of John in the third chapter. Ever seen the signs that say "John 3:16?" Well, the phrase "born again" comes from the neighboring verse John 3:3. It reads:

3Jesus answered him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God."4Nicodemus said to him, "How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?" 5Jesus answered, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. - (ESV)

When we read the words "born again" in that passage we tend to assign to them the meaning that we already understand them to have, but when John wrote those words I can assure you they hadn't inherited the layers of meaning from 20th Century evangelicalism yet.

The Jews lived in a traditional culture where your identity was assigned to you by your family lineage, your genealogy. Your identity was a reflection of your family. This is incredibly difficult for Modern and Post-Modern Westerners to understand. We tend to have fractured identities that we create for ourselves largely by the consumer choices we make and the careers we choose. You want proof? Ask someone who they are. They will usually respond with A) what they do for a living and B) and what they like to do (which reflects their consumer choices).

So when Jesus tells Nicodemus (the "him" in the text) that he must be born again, this time "of the Spirit." He is saying that he must re-orient his entire identity from familial lineage to the Spirit of God. Or put it in more modern terms: Nicodemus as a "ruler of the Jews" is basing his self-image upon the purity of his racial lineage and is basing his standing with God upon the same thing. Jesus is calling him to a completely new basis for his identity.

Fast forward 2,000 years.

What is it that makes you, you? Your job, the brands you buy, the person you love, or the person that loves you? Is is your hobbies, your pride in the superiority of your race or particular tribe, or the things you own? Jesus is saying that to "see the Kingdom of God" you must learn to forsake the created things you have gained your identity from and learn instead to gain your identity from the Creator himself. And this will definitely feel like death and birth.

To be "born again" is not to have one particular type of religious experience. It is to be the same person, only now with a radically different basis for your identity. And while this passage doesn't explain it, the rest of the book of John goes on to claim that the only safe place to gain your identity and sense of self-worth is in the sacrificial love of the God who made you. God has proved your infinite worth to him by dying for your sins upon the cross.

I Yelled at A Lady Yesterday

2011-12-08T10:09:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I went to the worst OfficeMax ever. If you will excuse the provincial rant for the benefit of my Charlotte readers... it is the OfficeMax on 74 by Guitar Center, and I highly recommend that you never, ever go there. It is the kind of place where you stand in a line of four people and no one is working any register, but they are standing around talking to each other. Yeah.

Yesterday I didn't need to buy anything from them, I needed to return something to them. I knew this was going to be a major undertaking before I ever stepped in the door. I walked up to the Customer Service desk and waited. No one was there. I was worried that the rapture had happened. I looked over toward the regular registers and no one was working any of those either, but I figured I had a better chance of being noticed, so I went. I waited in the ghost town for a while and eventually someone begrudgingly came. This person called for a manger who, it turns out, was the long lost descendant of Tomas de Torquemada, leader of the Spanish Inquisition. Long story short, I returned my item.

The only problem was (besides everything) that I lost my temper with the lady behind the counter. Bad. I was embarrassed, everyone in the store was embarrassed, and the manager was reaffirmed in her assessment that her job sucks. So I left.

Now the pre-planning of my day determined that right after this I was to spend time in prayer. And as you might imagine, I could not pray. God has determined that if we can't love the people standing right next to us, there is no way we are going to be able to love him, who we cannot see.

Outside of the gospel, I really don't owe this lady anything. I don't even owe her courtesy. I will pay her courtesy as long as that gets me what I want, until it doesn't, and then I will switch tactics. But if I am a sinner saved by grace, and she is made in the image of God, then I have a duty to her that goes far beyond courtesy. Because the truth is that while I cannot control the circumstances or the service in that Office Max, I can choose my response to them.

So I bought her a Starbucks card and I went back and apologized. Not for my sake, because I can get over it and sleep at night. Not for her sake because she will, too. But for the sake of the gospel. Because a God who has gone to such extravagant lengths for me, even when I am berating poor ladies in OfficeMax, asks me to love other people well. And if I owe him everything, what is there that he cannot ask of me?

I went in and apologized. I thought the lady was going to die from shock.

Being God Means Being Humble

2011-12-02T16:35:00.001-05:00

The Christian doctrine of Jesus and God is not that we already know what God is like and somehow struggle to fit Jesus into that. But that we don’t really know what God is like, but when we look at Jesus, we find out. - NT Wright

Most of the time when we use the word "god" we assume that we are all talking about the same thing. God loves you. God forgives. God answered my prayer.

Maybe. I usually doubt it.

Part of the reason that Christianity was so explosive when it first came on the scene 2,000 years ago was that people understood that it was making a claim about exactly who god was and what he was like that was very different from what anyone else believed. And inherent in that, it was making a claim about what God wasn't like.

Today we think that when people say "god" they are talking about, at most, slight variations on a theme. But we're not.

The claim of the Bible is that because Jesus was equal with God, that committed him to the way of the cross. Jesus claimed being God means suffering on behalf of people that don't deserve or even want your help. Jesus claimed being God means dying for your friends and for your enemies. Jesus claimed that being God means being humbled.

Let's at least be honest. When we say "god," we don't always mean all that...

How Do You Pray?

2011-12-01T09:58:00.001-05:00

How do you pray?

When was the last time you asked someone this? A friend, a mentor, a pastor?

Oftentimes spiritual envy creeps into our lives. We want to be like them. Deep down we know that they didn't just wake up like that one morning. Their relationship with God is likely the result of a day-by-day struggle of self-control and discipline. And if you really wanted to know how they got that way, the questions most likely to yield you an answer are "What have you suffered?" and "How do you pray?"

I was taught in High School to CHAT:

Confess
Honor
Ask
Thank

And that was fine for a child. There are days when I'm feeling like enough of a child to pray like that still.

These days I have been taught to sit quietly, listen, fast, and pray through the Psalms. I'm not saying that will be what works for you, but something will. So why not ask?

Occupy the Gospel

2011-11-21T10:33:00.001-05:00

[The title of this post comes from a radio interview of Paul Brandeis Raushenbush, religion editor for the Huffington Post. I love the sentiment. See post below for the interview.]

"Gospel" is the word that Christians have used to refer shorthand to the good news about God's saving work in our world. In many ways it is a symbol. For instance when I say the words "Old Glory," the thought of the flag evokes the whole story of American independence and freedom. Likewise when Christians say "The Gospel" they should be referring to the whole story of God intervening in our world to fix what is ultimately broken with it. At least that's how it is used in the Bible. Christians believe that the ultimate problem is sin, or rebellion against God's loving rule over his good creation.

However, in Christian circles the Gospel has come to mean, "the good news that Jesus has died for your sins so that you can go to heaven when you die." The Gospel is at least this, but it is much more. For instance the Bible says that the gospel is something that the angels never tire of looking into. It is infinitely complex in its depth.

Because of this truncation of the gospel we have been tempted to believe that the gospel is something you get right in the beginning. You pray a prayer. Then you get on with the hard work of discipleship, becoming more and more like Jesus. When Christians believe this they become arrogant and prideful. They got it right. Why haven't you got it right? It must be because on some level they believe that they are more humble or smarter or more spiritual than you are. After all, they've got it right and you haven't.

But the Gospel isn't something that you "get right" and then get on with becoming godly. The gospel is an entire story of God's loving rule over creation and his activity to restore it to his original intent. The gospel is a story that is meant to be occupied. Lived in. Soaked in. And it is that crazy counter-cultural news that you can't earn salvation or even godliness that ultimately transforms you into a godly person. The gospel is meant to be occupied. You have to pray and meditate and let the truth of it sink down into the core of your being. Then it will change the aim of your heart. Then it will change the way you think. Then it will change the way you act.

And instead of feeling superior to others you feel humbled because none of it was really your doing in the first place. It was all based on the achievement of Jesus Christ upon the cross. Jesus occupied our place of sin so that we could occupy the story of the gospel and live out its truth in every area of our lives.

Radio Interview

2011-11-20T19:54:00.001-05:00

Interview by Krista Tippett, host of On Being, of Paul Brandeis Raushenbush, the Religion Editor of the Huffington Post. This was weird to hear on the way to church this morning, but was a really thought provoking interview. I went back and read the article he cited called What is Sharia Law?

Everything That Was True About Me...

2011-11-11T14:14:00.001-05:00

I discovered at the lowest moment of my life that everything that was true about me, God knew. - Sheila Walsh

Most of our flaws are completely hidden from us. We see them readily in other people, but can't see them in ourselves. The thing that always gets me are people that are arrogant. What bothers me more than anything else is meeting someone who thinks they are better than me. In fact, I am so insecure I often imagine that people are snubbing me when in reality they aren't doing anything at all. So imagine my surprise when earlier this year a very trusted friend called me out on having an arrogant attitude. It should be no surprise that he was right on the money. I was arrogant. And I could see it in other people, but not in myself.

We deceive ourselves so often it's amazing we can make it through the day. But I know why we do it. If we hold the spotlight on someone else, then we don't have to deal with our own stuff. We don't have to deal with our own sin. And as long as we don't see our own sin, then we assume God doesn't see it either.

Churches are filled with people who think that they're pretty good. They don't see their own sin in the mirror and they point fingers, judge, and split people into categories-us and them. They have to do this because if your salvation is based upon being a good person, then you can't possibly admit to having serious faults. If you admit to yourself that you are arrogant (for example), or judgmental, or worse, then you are admitting that you don't really merit God's love and God's salvation.

None of this means, of course, that God doesn't see all of our faults and all of our sins. This is the great irony of it. In concealing our true selves from God, we are hiding from the only one who can heal us. The truth is that we will all discover sooner or later that "at the lowest moment of my life that everything that was true about me, God knew." If you are saved by your good works or your religious accomplishment then this will turn out to be terrible news. God know everything that is true about me. How can I stand before that. But if you are saved not by being very moral or by faithfully practicing religious rituals, but by God's work and his activity, then this truth isn't terrifying, it is liberating. God knows everything that is true about me, and he still loves me anyway.

When you understand that you are not saved on the basis of your morality or religious observance you are free to look in the mirror and see the depth of your own sin. Because you are not saved by how good you are, you are saved because Jesus death on the cross paid the penalty for your sins.

Dealing with Anger

2011-11-09T13:07:00.001-05:00

The angry person says, "You owe me."

Some people are just angry people. And no it is no secret who these people are. If you work for a person who keeps anger in their heart, you know it. If you're married to a person who keeps anger in their heart, you know it. If you are friends with a person who keeps anger in their heart, you know it.

And if you keep anger in your heart everyone around you knows it, too.

We get angry because we think someone took something from us. Money, time, innocence, whatever. But anger is like a whack-a-mole. If you push it down in one place, it just pops up in another. I might be angry at my Father, but take it out on my husband. I might be angry at my boss, but take it out on my kids. This is why psychologists tell us that we have to find creative ways to express our anger. Whether through exercise, art, or something else. But this is only half the story.

Yes, we need to find ways to vent anger appropriately. I learned this the hard way. I used to vent anger through explosive outbursts and physical fights. As you can imagine, that's not very conducive to building relationships built on trust. So I worked on it. I got a punching bag. I started exercising. And all of this helped, but I was constantly having to find ways to vent anger. I was still an angry person.

Now anger is not bad. Anger is a very good thing because it is an indicator given to us by God that something is off. So if you're angry be glad that God is giving you a heads-up on something. But if you are always angry then that is an indication that something is always off in your heart. And that's not a good thing.

Just venting your anger doesn't get to the root cause. The antidote to anger is forgiveness. But for all the talk about how important it is, forgiveness is often impossible until you see something. And that is, that your offense against God is greater than any offense someone has perpetrated against you, and God forgave you with a costly forgiveness anyway. That is part of the harshness and sweetness of the gospel. The harshness is that you have to come to terms with the depth of your own sin. The sweetness is that God has forgiven you and it cost him dearly. So you can now forgive those who wrong you, and yes it will be costly. Forgiveness always is.

Love Incorruptible

2011-11-04T22:04:00.000-04:00

Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible. - Ephesians 6:24

As I read this verse today I was struck. Who on earth loves anything or anyone, much less Jesus, with love incorruptible?

All of my love is corruptible.

That's part of what it means to be human. To be able to say aloud with integrity, "My love is corruptible." I can say it with integrity because by the end of each day I have no integrity.

My love for my wife. My love for my family. My love for my friends. My love for God's church. All of it, corruptible.

It doesn't take long to twist love into something that isn't really love at all.
I love my wife as an indirect way to love myself.
I love my family to make life less complicated at holidays.
I love my friends to create a full life for myself.
I love God's church to keep up appearances.

Back to the verse. If our love were truly incorruptible we wouldn't need all that much grace, would we?

What if he's talking about a love comes out from inside us, but that doesn't originate in us? What if love incorruptible only comes from walking in step with and incorruptible God?

Dealing with Guilt

2011-10-28T11:16:00.003-04:00

The guilty person thinks to himself: I owe you.

I've done something wrong. I have a secret you know nothing about. You don't really know me. And as a result the guilty person lives each interaction as though she owes a debt to the other person.

Therefore, guilt erodes boundaries. Guilt tips the balance of power in relationships toward the other person. Guilt makes you a doormat. Guilt makes you lie and construct a facade so that other people can't get to know the real you. And guilt works its way out of you in the strangest ways. True Story: I lived through an entire decade of my life when I didn't check voicemail because of my guilt. Now when I'm not checking my voicemail I do a guilt-check on my heart. That is so strange that you can't make it up.

The practical response is to confess, but not just to God, to whomever you have affected. And if you think that sin only affects yourself then you are lying to yourself and are in a deeper place of deception than you thought.

"But I'll lose their respect." And you probably will. But they are only respecting the persona you have built, not the real you.

Why is it that confession has such a cleansing effect on your soul? Jesus went to the cross so that the penalty that was due to us for our rightful guilt was taken upon himself. He bears our guilt, not us. And so when we keep our guilt to ourselves we are keeping it out of the hands of Jesus. We keep it secret and safe because we are comfortable with it. We feel we deserve to be guilty for what we've done. We feel we deserve to be punished for what we've done. But Jesus doesn't. He bore our punishment so that we wouldn't have to.

The guilty person thinks to himself "I owe you because of my secret" But the gospel brings us to the place where we can say to God, "I owe you because of your Son." When you grasp how guilty you have been you will experience the pain you need to move you to confess. And when you grasp how loved you have been you'll have the security you need to confess.

2011-10-26T10:55:00.000-04:00

This is a teaching on Matthew 4, the temptation of Jesus.

On Heavenly Citizenship

2011-10-25T00:08:00.001-04:00

We live in a country whose government has very distinct origins. The Founding Fathers were colonials of Britain. We were colonists. So think through with me for a moment the logic of colonies. The Founding Fathers' citizenship was British. They were fully and completely British citizens. But that did not mean that they were planning on returning to Britain from the colonies one day. It meant that they were to bring British culture-values, government, education, military-to a new place. And what would happen if the colonials got into huge trouble with the indigenous population? Britain would send soldiers to rescue them.

Now think about this. In Roman times it was no different. After the civil wars of the mid-to-late first century they didn't want all those retired soldiers hanging around Rome so they sent them off with a mission to colonize the world. The city of Philippi was one such colony. The former soldiers, whose citizenship was in Rome, were to bring Roman culture to the new city-values, government, education, transportation, military, etc. And what would happen if there was an uprising. Rome would send soldier to rescue them and in the extreme the Caesar would come himself. Caesar was also given the titles of Savior, Son of God, and King.

Now read this:

But our citizenship is in heaven and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.

- Letter to the Christians in Philippi aka. Philippians 3:20

That's right. The logic of our citizenship being in heaven is not that we need to get this little bit of life on earth over so we can go be in heaven some day. The logic of citizenship is that we are to colonize this world with the culture of heaven. We are to bring the values of God's Kingdom into our worldly kingdoms. And kingdom values are forgiveness, service, humility, obedience, and love.

That's not to say that if we work extremely hard then we can bring about God's Kingdom here on earth-the 20th Century should have put a nail in the coffin of that pipe dream. But that is to say that our heavenly citizenship is actually a calling to work in the here and now. So that when in a dramatic moment God's new Heaven and new Earth (that is to say, New Creation) are revealed, while it will be dramatically different, there will also be a strange, fitting, just, continuity with the kingdom building work that God's people have done in the present.

In conclusion,

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

Why Doesn't God Help Me?

2011-10-24T14:19:00.001-04:00

If we know that God will help us because he went all the way to the cross.

And we know that God can help us because he rose from the dead.

Then why doesn't he help us?

Someone asked me this after church yesterday. What a fantastic question! I think the answer has to do with timing and faith.

First: Timing

When you are in a period of life where God is able and willing to help you, yet he is not helping you, then you are in the wilderness. The wilderness is where God accomplishes his purposes for you and in you by trial and by testing. This will never be either enjoyable or fun. Sometimes we are in self-imposed exile through our own sin and refusal to repent. Sometimes we are blindsided into the wilderness by unforeseen events. And sometimes we run directly for the wilderness because it is the only alternative to the raging army behind us. But however we got there, God has a plan for us there. Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David, and Jesus all spent time in the wilderness. And Moses spent 40 years there. This is actually the whole point of looking back to the cross and the resurrection. We know that God can help us and will help us, but we also know that he has purposes for us that are beyond our comprehension. In fact, if you have a God who is big enough and powerful enough to be mad at for not rescuing you, then you also have a God who is wise enough to have reasons for your suffering that you know nothing about. It is the cross and the resurrection that assures us that God is working all things together for our good.

Second: Faith
Because of that American Worldview that we possess, we often think of faith as belief in things that you can't prove. But this has nothing to do with the biblical definition of faith. In the Bible faith is an active trust in someone: God as revealed in Christ. And the more you know someone and the more you know their character the easier and more natural it is to trust that person and act accordingly. This is why the cross and the resurrection feature so prominently in biblical faith. When you see the cross you see the clearest ever demonstration of God's heart and God's character. So when he is not doing what you want him to do you don't have to doubt his goodness. You can simply say, "I know because of the cross and the resurrection that God is both good and powerful. I have no idea why he has left me in the wilderness, but I can trust in the end that it will work out for my good." That is the essence of faith.

Hope that is helpful!

What is a Worldview

2011-10-21T17:05:00.004-04:00

I was at a youth ministry gathering at Forrest Hills Church a while back (because my boy Harrison Gillming was leading worship-don't forget to pick up his new album dropping soon - PLUG!!) and they were doing a series on Worldview Development. The main metaphor they used to explain what a worldview is? Glasses. A worldview is the lens through which you view the world. And here is the tricky part: It operates largely below the conscious level.

To develop the metaphor. Say you were born wearing glasses with pink lenses and you never took them off. To you the world would appear pink. In fact, when you looked at a white piece of paper it would appear pink. You wouldn't know that everything was pink; it just is what it is. But what if one day you took the glasses off? All of the sudden you would realize that there is another way to view the world. Maybe the unchallenged assumptions you held about reality would suddenly be up for a challenge. But then again, maybe not. Challenges to worldview level assumptions always stir up anxiety. People have a built in need for internal consistency in their views about life. Sure, most people's worldviews are not integrated and inconsistent, but this isn't a problem until it is pointed out. Then it becomes a big problem.

Here is an example of a Worldview assumption that most people never think about. Did you know that as Westerners we view time as a uniform linear progression and as a limited resource? Time is like a line moving from the past, through the present, into the future and it can be wasted. It makes sense to us to think about it this way. In fact this is one of the strongest vestiges of a Biblical Worldview that still permeates the worldview of Westerners today. But many cultures and societies view time as non-uniform and cyclical. Ever notice that time seems to speed up and slow down? Ever notice that so much of the world repeats in seasons? Some people groups work by event time. Now is the time to wash. Now is the time to harvest. Now is the time for the wedding. And some cultures separate divine time from human time. E.g. - Our universe will come into and out of existence as the dream of a deity.

And time is just one example. Now to the application. While the gospel cuts straight across worldviews, the message assumes as it's foundation the Biblical Worldview provided by the Old Testament. That's why, when Marcion wanted to toss the Old Testament books out of the Bible, he was condemned as a heretic. The gospel message makes sense in a particularly Jewish worldview. But most Christians today, do not hold the worldview of the Bible! We hold bits and pieces of it, but if you went to public schools and particularly if you went to university you probably have a uniquely American Worldview. And this is where a collision occurs.

Here is a summary of Naturalism (within an American Worldview) from Paul Hieberts' Transforming Worldviews:

"There is a sharp distinction between the natural and the supernatural world. The natural world is experienced directly through the senses and can be studied by means of the sciences and humanities. Supernatural experiences, on the other hand, are, for all practical purposes, confined to inner feelings, which cannot be empirically tested, or to miracles and visions, which are not seen as common, ordinary experiences and are, therefore, somewhat suspect. Few people, even those who are religious, live with a constant awareness that the world around them is inhabited by spirits that directly influence their everyday experiences. This living in a "natural" world is the basis of Western secularism."

Two comments about the above statement. First, if you are a Christian please recognize that this is nowhere close to a worldview that is thoroughly based on the Bible. The primary distinction in the Bible is not between Natural and Supernatural but between Creator and all of Creation. Furthermore those things labeled as "supernatural experiences" are objectively verifiable in Scripture. That is the whole point of the Jewish Scriptures. God has intervened in his Creation, within history, and it is worth writing about precisely because it is not an inward feeling. The Red Sea parted! There was a huge pillar of fire! The walls of Jerusalem have been rebuilt! Jesus rose from the dead! And if you'd like proof you can talk to the people who saw him (1 Corinthians 15).

Second, you may completely agree with the above statement because you are not a Christian. To you I would add this challenge: The Bible makes an argument for a different way of looking at reality, but so does Indian culture, as well as Spiritists in Latin America and Africa. Assuming that you are correct is assuming that you have a privileged cultural position from which to judge the beliefs of most other cultures throughout all of human history. Naturalism is mostly a product of the anti-religious bias inherited from the Enlightenment in reaction to the 100-years War. The compartmentalization of religion into the "private sphere" is a relatively young invention in history and was useful to prevent the abuse of religion from negatively affecting public life. This is not a complete argument by any means, simply a thought to chew on.

On Apprenticeship

2011-10-13T14:16:00.005-04:00

[Here are thoughts directly from the brain of Andy Stanley, through the filter of Jared Kirk for your reading pleasure.]

We use the language of apprenticeship at Next Level Church. We do this mostly because the word discipleship has lost all of its original connotations save learning facts. How else could people talk about a "discipleship program?" By its very nature discipleship is NOT programmatic learning. It is following someone around and doing what they do. The closest word for this in the English language? Discipleship.

Now, everyone agrees that this is a great thing. "Yes, let's bring along the next generation and show them how to do what we do. Then people will be developed and the church will be in great hands when our generation turns over the keys." So yes, everyone agrees that someone should be apprenticing (or discipling) newer believers, but no one seems to think that they are the ones who should be doing it.

It's like seeing a turtle cross the road. Everyone knows they should just get out and help the turtle, but most of us assume someone else will do it. After all, no one wants to A.) Get hit by a car or B.) see a turtle get hit by a car. So basically, when you see a turtle all you do is say "awww" and pray to patron saint of doomed turtles. Unless... your wife is in the car.

In the church world, this is the equivalent of a pastor enlisting you in his or her latest "leadership development" program. We act like we're going to help, because we know we should, but secretly we groan and pray to Jude who happens to be the patron saint of lost causes and ipso facto the patron saint of church leadership development programs. We know it is a good thing but we've got two great reasons not to actually apprentice anyone ourselves. I want to get those excuses, I mean reasons, out there and debunk them once and for all so that you can get on with the Great Commission... making disciples. So I'm going to engage in a little BUT removal.

Excuse #1
But I'm not an expert.

A. The truth is almost none of us are experts. I'm certainly not. So if you wait until you are an expert you will never do this. Partially because if you are a good leader you will constantly be growing and learning and will never feel as though you had arrived. If you wait until you feel ready it will never happen.
B. You are not responsible for knowing everything there is to know about your field or even knowing more than anyone else in your field. Who does? Most of us are figuring things out as we go.
C. What you are responsible for passing on whatever you do know to someone else. You are not responsible for filling their cup; you are responsible for emptying yours. As a Christian, God won't hold you accountable for what you didn't know. He will hold you accountable for what you did with what you know.

Excuse #2
But what will I do?

A. In a healthy organization if you replace yourself you will always have a place. And if you are in an unhealthy organization... Why would you stay? To bring this home for people at Next Level Church specifically, let me just say it: "If you replace yourself you will always have a place!"

The How To:
The easiest way to accomplish this is to never work alone. When you prepare a lesson, do it with someone. When you lead a group, do it with someone. When you counsel a group member, do it with someone. When you make the group schedule, do it with someone. When you submit new group information for a catalogue, do it with someone. And then after you have done it ask them this one question: "So, what did you learn?" That's it.

In conclusion allow me to redefine success for all of us, straight from the silky smooth brain of Andy Stanley: Success isn't how capable you are at handling responsibilities, success is leaving your responsibilities in capable hands.

Marks of a Criminal, Marks of a Savior

2011-10-13T13:51:00.004-04:00

[This was an email written to my friend and beloved Father-in-Law Ken Gillming of Boston Bible College. He wrote me about a book he was reading entitled Worldviews in Conflict by Ronald Nash. In it, Nash states something philosophers call The Problem of Evil. To give context to this post, The Problem of Evil states: God is all good and all powerful, so he could eliminate evil, yet evil exists. Therefore God is either not all good or not all powerful.]

Interestingly, the Christian faith actually doesn't have a clear answer on where evil comes from. I mean, we do have an answer for where evil comes from within our position in salvation history (that would be our sin). But when you track it back past the fall of Adam... Did it come from Satan? But God created Satan, so did God create something evil? The answer to the second question is "no." The answer to the first question is that the Bible just doesn't say. A true mystery.

But The Problem of Evil as stated plays off philosophical (rather than theological) attributes of God off of one another. As we well know, the Bible just doesn't speak distilled truth very often. It tells stories that only glimpse upon didactic principles and truths. And as I mentioned above, the story of the Bible starts after evil exists. So the Biblical witness tells about how evil entered the human sphere of experience - as opposed to how evil entered the heavenly realm, and it tells about God's saving activity to rescue all of creation including humans and the heavenly realm from evil and the associated decay and corruption that it causes.

So what all of this means concerning The Problem of Evil is that we are left to guess as to the reasons that evil first entered God's good creation (and by this I include the heavenly dimension). I have a plausible guess which I think is correct about 29 days of the month....

Evil entered God's creation because in order to magnify the worship and glory that he was given by beings that he created he allows them to voluntarily choose to worship and serve him. This is an argument for evil based on free will. Note what I am not saying. I am not saying that in order for worship or love to exist that evil must exist side-by-side with good. What I am saying is that this is the argument is that true love is love that is truly chosen and this freedom of choice was abused for selfish ends by created beings. First Satan and the Angels then by human beings.

The real question is, "What are we to take away from this into our present experience?" The biblical witness is surprisingly clear on the presence of evil in our contemporary world as not being a part of God's original intention. Sin-in addition to all of the normal effects we teach about-brings corruption and decay to all of creation. This does explain for the Christian the presence of all evil in our lives. Yes, including things which are not seemingly a result of direct choices to sin. Seeing as how creation itself is awaiting redemption and release from bondage to corruption and decay.

The reason that contemporary evangelical Christians struggle with an answer to this question is that we lack a proper doctrine of resurrection and new creation. We tend to think of Jesus resurrection as a one-time special event that happened just to Jesus. After all, he was God. In fact, what happened there was quite profound, not just for Jesus, but for us as well. The resurrection of Jesus was the very first act of God's New Creation. It is not completely discontinuous from the old, but rather incorporates the old into the new incorruptibility. This is what God did with Jesus' body and this is what he will do with us and this is what he will do with all of creation. That is what Romans 8:19-25 is all about. (It would be helpful for you to take a moment to read it...)

And that is precisely why it makes the claim in Romans 8:28 - "For we know that for those who love God all things work together for god, for those who are called according to his purpose." These are not two separate ideas: new creation (of which resurrection is a part) and God's sovereign redemption of our suffering. They are intimately related. In fact Paul is explaining to us that precisely because there is a new creation coming we can trust that God will work all of our present sufferings (Rom. 8:18) out into something that brings even more glory to us and himself.

If the question is, "How in all of this injustice and all of this suffering can God still be just and good and powerful?" Then the answer is "There is a new creation coming along with the resurrection of all to their appropriate judgement. So in resurrection and new creation the Problem of Evil is addressed because we clearly see both God's power (in the creative act) and his goodness (in his redemptive work). They are a contradiction in light of our worlds present condition, but they are not a contradiction in light of the world to come. And in this new creation all of the suffering in the old will be turned to glory in the new." Now how this works I haven't the faintest idea, but I know of one signpost, pointing to the future, that I hold to with all of my might.

The nail marks in the hands and feet of Jesus were the signs of his greatest suffering and shame. But when he was resurrected where did they go? They were still there! Only now they were the marks of his greatest glory. They were given as the marks of a criminal, they were revealed to be the marks of a savior. And since there is a new creation coming this is what God will do with our suffering and even our shame as well. Our suffering is to both God's glory and ours. Our shame increases the glory of our Saviour who bore it all.

On Spiritual Ups and Downs

2011-10-10T17:01:00.003-04:00

One of my top ten days of all time was a trip to John Pennycamp State Park in Florida with my wife Heather. We were just dating then. We were both in college in South Florida, but we took the day to drive down to the keys. At the state park they rent snorkel gear and give boat rides out to the coral reef there. They day we went was warm and clear which meant that we could go to the very best snorkeling spot, an underwater statue of Jesus that was dropped there by a ship. If you take a huge breath you can swim down and touch the outstretched hand of Jesus. It's really pretty surreal.

The sea was pretty calm that day just 0-2ft. So when you're on a boat you don't notice the gentle roll of the ocean at all, but when you jump into the water even a calm sea seems to move you quite a bit with the waves. Even being in the ocean a ton, here is what I know... When you are on the top of the wave and you can clearly see all the people around you the ocean really doesn't seem that scary. But when you are at the bottom of a swell and you can't see anyone, all of the sudden you feel isolated and alone and the barracuda which looked so beautiful now seems pretty menacing.

We all ride along on the sea of our life circumstances. There will be times when you are at the top of your wave and you can clearly see God's presence and intervention in your life. It seems as though he has surrounded you with friends and family. You feel secure and safe. There will also be times when you are at the bottom of the wave. God's does not seem as present to you as he once did. You feel isolated and alone. Left here long enough, you start to freak out.

This is a normal part of Christian experience that we all experience in varying degrees. Most of us float along on a sea of 0-2ft. swell, but every once in a while we are blindsided by a rogue wave. And each of us can choose whether to keep on swimming or freak out and head for the boat; get out of the water altogether. The interesting this is that it has nothing to do with the size of the peaks or troughs. Some people stick it out no matter what and some people bail as soon as things get mildly uncomfortable. Although I am passionate about looking for the work of God's Spirit in the bottoms of life, what I would like to call your attention to today is why some people continue swimming no matter what the conditions are and some people completely leave the water when times become trying.

The number one reason that a person follows God cyclically is that they didn't get what they wanted or expected from God. You are looking for a certain kind of continued emotional experience and don't get it. You are looking for material blessing and it dries up. You are looking for God to fix your broken family or bring your prodigal child home and he doesn't. You were expecting to have a constant awareness and God didn't make it happen. You were expecting life to get better and it just didn't.

The number one reason that a person follows God faithfully is that they have learned to want God himself. We tend to want God so that he can fulfill our selfish desires. But how would accepting Jesus on those terms change anything about the fundamental self-centeredness of our hearts? The cross demonstrates that God accepts us because God himself is good. He forgives us because he himself is faithful. And when you grasp that you begin to grasp the beauty of God. The beauty of Jesus. The beauty of his Holy Spirit. And a beautiful thing is magnificent in and of itself. Or to say it another way, a truly beautiful thing is worthy of being admired simply for what it is, not what it can do for you. The cross and the whole gospel brings you to the place where you can worship God because of who he is not what he can do for you.

When that penny drops you can swim through any peak or any trough. You can swim whether you are surrounded by friends or isolated and alone. You can swim knowing that God has not and never will abandon you. He remembered you all the way to the cross, he won't forget you now. God is faithful, beautiful, magnificent, regal, trustworthy, good, longsuffering, patient, kind, just, loyal, true, light, love, faithful, faithful, faithful. God is faithful. And he is worthy of being worshiped no matter the circumstances of your life. There will be peaks and there will be troughs, but you know that he has gone to the cross for you. He won't leave you now, don't leave him.

What about the dinosaurs??

2011-09-23T16:51:00.002-04:00

I love the title of this post. It's really hilarious when you think about it. Kind of like this cartoon sent to me by Nancy Burton:

But now that we've gotten that out of the way, on to a blog post that I've spent a great deal of time thinking through. I thought about it while driving, running, and praying. I talked to Pastor Todd about it, and Pastor Mark, and Pastor Robbie. And what follows is what I've got.

I. The Question
The question itself is really a question about the age of the earth, the role of God in creation, and the nature of what can be known from scripture. No small task. The question, "What about the dinosaurs?" is only a puzzle if the earth is relatively young and evolution is assumed to not be happening. This would be the assumption of many born-again Christians in the South, but I would remind my readers (specifically my LG leaders) that most disconnected people don't even begin to share those assumptions and therefore the question is not likely to be raised unless you bring it up. Or of course if someone in your group brings it up for you...

II. The Best Response
The best response to a difficult question certainly depends on 1.) who asked the question and 2.) who else is listening to your answer. Perhaps everyone in your group is a Christian, but very likely, someone is not. In Scripture there are secondary issues and their are primary issues. It makes no sense to get caught up in the secondary issues until everyone is in agreement about the primary issues. So here is how I would respond to my entire group since I normally assume that someone present is disconnected.

"I wouldn't worry too much about that kind of thing until you have decided on the bigger issues in the Bible. What you believe about the age of the earth doesn't determine your relationship with God. But what you believe about Jesus dying for your sins and raising bodily from the dead does. If you don't believe that Jesus rose from the dead then who cares what the Bible says about creation. But if Jesus is the Lord of the world, raised bodily from the dead, then you have to deal with what he teaches about everything, including creation."

To break down the game-tape of what just happened. I re-framed the issue at hand as peripheral and made a beeline to the resurrection. Why? Because it doesn't matter? No. Because it doesn't matter as much as Jesus. The point is that what another Christian believes about creation is not an excuse for breaking fellowship with them, but what another Christian believes about whether Jesus actually died for our sins and is raised from the dead is. In the office of Next Level you could poll all 7 pastors (5 of whom went to Bible college or seminary) and probably get 7 slightly different answers to the question "How did Creation actually go down?"

III. The Necessary Response
But what normally happens at this point in the conversation is that someone pushes you, unhelpfully, to answer the question. I usually preface my answer with, "Well I'm not sure, I wasn't there. 70% of the time I think it is ___________. And the other 30% of the time I think it is __________." Saying "The Bible says so, so I believe it!" is a valid response, but it is incredibly unhelpful to people who do not share your level of faith. So in order to actually be helpful to you, O reader, I have categorized common responses into three categories: Valid Answers, Invalid Answers, Grey Answers. These category labels apply from the perspective from people who believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God. So if you don't believe that right now, forget the labels and enjoy the free information.

Valid Answers:
A. Young Earth Variations
In this view, God created the world in seven literal days approximately 6,000 to 10,000 years ago. God created the world as having age already. Dinosaurs are created by God and left off the ark. Pastor Robbie likes to say, "God said two of every animal on the ark, not two of every monster. If I'm Noah, no way I'm bringing one of those on my ark." Pros: God can do anything, including this. Cons: The first chapter of Genesis does not read like historical narrative (compare it to Chronicles). There is day and night before there is a Sun or Moon. Doesn't account for the fossil record. There is a discrepancy in the order of creation between Genesis 1 and 2.

B. The Gap Theory
In this view, there is a gap of millions or billions of years between the happenings of Genesis 1:1 and 1:2. So, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth (pause for a billion years). Now the earth was formless and void..." Dinosaurs die in Noah's worldwide flood. Pros: Accounts for the apparent age of the earth. Cons: Text isn't very clear on the gap. Doesn't account for the fossil record very well.

C. The Other Gap Theory
Here the genre of Genesis 1 is seen to be a song or poem which is a mature reflection on God's creation. So God creates the universe through natural means over however many years and then at a certain time the historical narrative of Genesis 2 begins when God makes a garden, and a man, and animals, etc. Also, accounts for the change in chronology between Genesis 1 and 2 where plants are made first then man, followed by man made and then plants. Pros: Accounts for fossil record and apparent age of earth. Cons: When death enters the world it refers to the death of man, not death in general.

The Invalid Answer:
The Comparative Religions Theory
From studying the origin myths of many ancient near eastern religions some people have concluded that Genesis 1 and 2 are origin myths adapted from other religions. Marshaled in support of this argument is the theory of evolution, the age of the earth, and the fossil record. While the scripture is not clear on the genre of Genesis 1 it is clear in its appraisal of Adam as an actual human being. This is seen most clearly when Jesus and Adam are put in parallel by Paul. In general, this view is based on an Western Post-Enlightenment presupposition that miracles cannot happen and that God, if he exists, does not intervene in the cosmos. This is incompatible with the view of God held by Jesus himself. Not to mention Jesus rising from the dead.

The Grey Answer:
Guided Evolution
Francis Collins pioneered this theory which was a breakthrough in his work concerning genetic variability. The sheer complexity of life at the bio-molecular level, of which Darwin himself was unaware, tends against a theory of evolution from totally random mutations. He advocates a form of guided evolution in which God created the world through natural means. Then life developed through guided evolution including hominid species until a suitable container was produced (read: a suitable body) for God to put his image in. This leaves Genesis 2 in flux. There was a garden and a literal Adam, but other parts of the chapter wouldn't seem to make sense. That is why I categorized it as Grey.

IV. The Follow-up
It is important to remind people that science is good for what science is good for. In other words, while science makes claims from a neutral perspective about things which are observable, repeatable, and measurable then we are all on solid ground. But the worldview of many secular scientists depends on maintaining that the Bible is inaccurate. This is why scientists are constantly making claims that goes beyond the reach of science. At the end of the day it is important to remember that because God himself is unchanging and creative we can discover his universe that is filled with creative laws and truths. We don't have anything to fear from science that is done well. But we also live under the authority of scripture because that is the way laid out by Jesus. They go together, they really do.

Remembering Eternity

2011-09-02T14:39:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite illustrations about eternity comes from Rick Warren. Say you were going to travel from Charlotte to Tokyo, and you decide that you're going to stretch out a tape measure behind you as you go. You roll down the window of the car and head out on I-40 toward California. The whole time the tape measure is hanging out the window stretching out behind you at 65mph. Once you end up around LA, you hop on a very large boat and sail across the sea. (According to this Google Map you would actually have to kayak, see step 14) And all the while your tape measure is flying out behind you as you motor into the setting sun. And as you arrive in Tokyo and think back on the tape measure you've left behind you realize, "my life on this earth is just the first little tick-mark on that tape measure."

Your perspective about when you are living influences how you live every bit as much as your perspective concerning where or why you are living. This is why the biblical writers are often at pains to share with their readers their location within the story that God is unfolding. When Paul faces immorality within the congregations he has founded his advice is not simply "Stop It!" it is a reminder that we live within God's History. You have already been redeemed and are a "new creation" and are therefore an inbreaking of God's New Creation into a corrupting world. That only makes sense in an overall scheme of Creation, Fall, Redemption, New Creation.

But to bring this down, down, down into the muck of our daily lives...

I do not believe that God is simply "preparing us for heaven" as though he really doesn't care what happens here on earth. God made this all of us-and this good world-and he intends to put it all to rights. But the tools he has chosen to work with appear to be a bit dull. So God is sharpening us. He is preparing us to do "good works which he has prepared in advance for us to do." But he is forming us into the kind of tool that is useful and sharp to do kingdom work. That doesn't necessarily mean that he is filling us with skills and information. It might be that God is shaping us into the kind of person who is utterly dependent upon him. It might be that God is honing our ability to hear, listen, and discern his voice. It could be that God is forging an ironclad character, built upon integrity, which will withstand the temptations of power and influence. And it could be that while we are busy trying to change the world, God is busy changing us.

When you find your desire to serve God frustrated, slowed to a crawl, or stopped altogether, remember eternity. We often say in evangelical circles that Jesus would have died on the cross for just one person. But in practice we don't believe that God would spend an entire lifetime preparing us for just 3 years of ministry. For that matter we have a difficult time believing that if something is not happening RIGHT NOW that God is still at work. It takes a lifetime of attentive obedience to be shaped into a multifaceted tool that God may use effortlessly for his purposes. But with patience, time, and faith we just might be shaped into one of the most powerful tools of all: the tape measure, the ever present reminder that another world is coming, and is now at hand.

Fits and Starts in Ministry

2011-08-30T09:46:00.002-04:00

This is more of a personal update, so I won't be linking to this on fb or twitter or anything.

As we begin to use our lives for ministry-whether that is paid or unpaid, full-time or part-time, a pastorate, a prayer room, or a food pantry-God often uses our initial experiences in ministry to accomplish more in us than he does in the world. So it's pretty funny to look back on the earliest days of ministry and see just how desperately I wanted to change the world, when all the while God was changing me. One of the first tests we get is the check to see if we will complete that to which he has called us.

I'm a bit of a quitter by nature. For example I have a brown belt with a black stripe on it from TaiKwonDo. That would be the very last belt you can possibly get before you get your black belt. I just stopped. Didn't want to do it anymore. So when it came time for college and the insanely difficult degree I had picked out for myself (Biomedical Engineering, 138 credits in 4 years) I felt that God was asking me to commit to finish this degree. So I did. I made a commitment to God that I would finish. And about two years into it, I realized that was a colossally stupid idea. I didn't want to be an engineer. I wanted to be a pastor.

My degree was not helping me do this and I wanted out. I wanted to go make a difference in the world or at least start a revival that would sweep across the University of Miami campus then spread to UF (leapfrogging those pagans at FSU) and then ignite every college student in the country in passionate frenzied devotion to God. But alas, none of this was to happen.

Here is what did happen. God taught me to finish what I started. And. My roommate of three and a half years who is one of my closest friends in the world came slowly, in his own time and way, to faith in Jesus. Then he started a Bible study for his family and their faith was renewed as well. And the way in which these things happened was important. It wasn't through something I organized or a title or position I held. It was through really struggling to be a Christ follower. So it wasn't about what I did. It was about what who I was and what God did.

When our service to others is based on who we are in Christ and not what we desire to do for Christ, then God can really show off. God uses those who persevere.

Link for Pastors

2011-08-30T09:00:00.000-04:00

Most of my readers are not pastors. But for those who are I was really challenged and encouraged all at the same time from the pen (or keyboard) of Pastor Jonathan Martin of Renovatus, so I bring you this link:

http://pastorjonathanmartin.com/church-leadership-2/i-am-a-preacher/

Enjoy.

The Ticket that Can't Be Bought : On Grace

2011-08-23T15:27:00.004-04:00

I love the idea of trains. Mass transit where you can get up and walk around, go to the dining car, watch the scenery. Hear the rhythmic repetition of the wheels and gears grinding against steel and wood. Travel a pre-determined route through people's backyards and people's city squares and people's lives. Move from city to city the same way my Grandfather got to the Army and back. And maybe the best part, walk right up to the ticket counter the same day you're traveling, look at the huge black board full of letters in yellow lights and buy a ticket that gets you where you need to go right on time.

But what if you went to ride a train but couldn't buy a ticket? No matter how much money you had. What if the man who owns the railroad (naturally he wears a monocle and looks like the monopoly guy) refuses to sell tickets? Instead this strange man decides that from now on he will only give tickets away. And he's quite liberal with his tickets. He gives them to whoever asks: the homeless, the poor, anyone who asks really. But he just won't sell them. No matter what. Because he has decided that he really doesn't want or need anymore money. And besides he's tired of people demanding this or that from him because, after all, they are paying customers.

Most people who have a general background in Christianity have heard that there is a heaven and a hell. They figure that this is basically the point of the Christian faith. There is an ultimate destination and you want to make sure you end up in the right place when your time is up. But how do you get there?

1. If I talk to someone who is basically unfamiliar with the Christian doctrine I find that such a woman or man usually assumes that if they are good enough then God will eventually let them into heaven. Heaven is for good people, Hell is for bad people. They are working to buy a ticket and their ticket is their good works. One might call this moralism (trying to live a very moral life). The problems with this are many, but one can quickly imagine several. Who decided where the cut-off is? How can someone who sins be in the presence of a perfect sinless God? If you were to sin a mere three times a day and live to the ripe old age of 80, how would you account to God for the roughly 80,000 sins you had committed in your lifetime? Why should people from good middle-class homes be privileged to get into heaven, seeing as how all the research connects stable upbringing with moral behavior? These people have tried to buy a ticket to heaven by being good. But the railroad owner has already decided: the tickets are not for sale.

2. If I talk to someone who is somewhat familiar with Christianity I find that such a man or woman usually knows that they can't be good enough to earn their way into heaven, but that Jesus has died for the forgiveness of their sins. So the question remains, how do you get to heaven? Usually there are some core things this person will tell you that you must do. The list varies from person to person, but the usual suspects include: giving money, asking for forgiveness for sins, or attending church. These are, of course, good things, but here is the catch. If you do these things so that God has to take you to heaven when you die, then you are trying to buy your ticket through religious performance. In this scenario Jesus might be your example, your teacher, or your sugar-daddy, but he's not your savior because you are your own savior. You have prayed, given, and attended therefore you feel God has to take you to heaven when you die. And really you feel as though God owes you a pretty good life now, as well. After all you have bought the ticket, you have the right to a pleasant journey. These people have tried to buy a ticket to heaven by being religious. But the railroad owner has already decided: the tickets are not for sale.

3. If I talk to someone who has been a Christian for a very long time and has suffered greatly and whose faith has been painfully refined I usually find a different picture. Such a person knows that God owes them nothing, but that he is in the business of giving out tickets to people who humbly ask for them. In the beginning perhaps the goal was the destination: get to heaven. But as you learn about the graciousness, character, and beauty of this railroad owner, the goal becomes not where you are going, but who you are getting to know. These people often give money, pray prayers, ask for forgiveness, and attend church, but the motivation of their heart is different. They know that God owes no man anything, but that he has already given man everything. Therefore they do these things out of grateful joy, to get to know their God more. He is just that worth it. The railroad owner has already decided: the tickets are not for sale. And these people find in this a statement of how great God truly is.

When every ticket is free, then no man or woman may boast. And in the end God owes no man or woman anything. But he does graciously give us himself. Ultimately in the person of his son and presently in the companionship of his Holy Spirit. In the end a man or woman can say that their faith is in Christ, but behavior is the ultimate litmus test. A person who "puts in their time" or who "does their duty" to get to heaven is not trusting in Jesus, but is trying to buy a free ticket by their own religious performance. You can't buy what is freely given. The only thing to do is humble yourself and know that no matter what you do you can't buy a ticket. And if God has freely given you everything, there is nothing he cannot ask of you.

Love is a Messy Business

2011-08-11T14:33:00.004-04:00

As NT Wright says, "The gospel is a 'new and strange hope' not a slight variation on one already well known." Most of us are used to being judged and approved based on how we perform in one area of our life or another. So when we hear the gospel many of us can't actually hear it. I think that many times what we get when we are hearing the stories of Jesus and the cross and resurrection is the news that if we screw up our religious duties that God will give us some extra forgiveness. After all, God is a God of love, so why shouldn't he forgive our sins? But that makes the good news that God is lenient, that he really doesn't care about sin as much as we thought he did. Whew, what a relief.

But in that scheme we are still working for our own salvation and we may be doing it through something as subtle as "having it all together." If I just have a balanced life, then I know I'll be ok. Then I'll know that my past doesn't control me. So we maintain control over our circumstances. Perhaps the most damning savior of all is making "balance" the Lord of your life. "Everything in moderation," is the motto, and the feeling is that I will be ruled by nothing. And indeed the man who makes balance and moderation his Lord will find that he must eventually sacrifice the greatest things for balance, because as we all know, love is too messy a business for someone who has got it all together.

The real reason that Balance is such a deadly slave master is that it keeps you from the one Master who can truly set you free. Balance tells us not to get to crazy about god. Don't go too far with it. Keep it in perspective. But what is the proper perspective of a God who is too large to comprehend? The only appropriate response is awe. Followed by worship. Followed by passionate devotion. And the safety of God is a dangerous safety, yes. The safety you find in a lover's arms who is wild and unpredictable. It is the safety of giving yourself completely to a Master who loved you so much that he died for you. If you worship Balance and you can't keep your life together will Balance forgive you? If you have perfect Balance in your life will you then be truly fulfilled? Jesus is the Master who dares you to soar and fail, because he forgives. And when you catch him, he fulfills you completely. You can't earn him, only discover him, and sell everything to gain him.

Extra Puzzle Pieces: Understanding God from the Bible

2011-08-02T10:09:00.005-04:00

Ever read a passage from the Bible that you don't understand?

I'm guessing that if you've been reading the Bible for any length of time you've had this experience. And it comes in a couple of varieties:

Number 1 - I think I'm missing something here...

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, - Ephesians 2

Why did Paul just say I am "seated" with Christ? Pretty sure I'm "seated" in my office chair right now. I've heard of being "saved," "justified," even "sanctified," but didn't know that "sitting" was a huge part of the Christian experience.

Number 2 - They didn't cover that in Sunday School.

Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard. ²¹ When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. - Genesis 9

Noah!?!? What about the cute animals in the ark and the rainbow and everything. I always thought I wanted to go sailing with him, now I'm thinking maybe me and Noah should hit up Whiskey River.

Number 3 - What the crap!?

At a lodging place on the way, the LORD met Moses and was about to kill him. ²⁵But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched Moses’ feet with it. “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me,” she said. ²⁶ So the LORD let him alone. (At that time she said “bridegroom of blood,” referring to circumcision.) - Exodus 4

Honestly, I don't really know. But if the LORD meets me and is about to kill me, I'm not sure Heather would do that to save my life. And now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not sure I would want her to.

The truth is that the Bible was written thousands of years ago, over a period of thousands of years, by different authors living in different cultures. Remember trying to understand just what Shakespeare was talking about in high school English class? Well, Shakespeare only lived 400 years ago and spoke our language. Now think that Moses lived at least 3500 years ago and spoke Hebrew, and you're starting to understand the gap of cultures that existed. So it is no surprise that it is difficult to comprehend. Understanding God from the Bible is like putting together a puzzle only to find extra pieces in the box. Once you are sure the picture is complete you find some new piece of information that needs explaining and needs to fit.

But here is the good news. God wants to be known and understood and He doesn't expect perfect understanding. Each picture we puzzle together is an understanding of God, and every piece we add is a clearer picture. It's a cute kitten. No wait, I think it's a cat. oooh here's another... Oh, I think it might be a lion.

So here's what this means practically: when you don't understand a verse of the Bible don't ignore it. Instead underline it and highlight it. Because that is a piece of God's character or of your own nature that you don't grasp quite yet. And in my experience as the years pass by and you gain wisdom and perspective those verses which have been highlighted and underlined, with question marks in the margin, become the verses which reveal the most to you.

Exodus 28

2011-08-01T08:42:00.005-04:00

I spent the last week of my life on the Outer Banks catching fish, getting tan, watching Phineas and Ferb, and generally doing nothing. But it's Monday morning and I'm back in the office bright and early. I have a very serious project that needs to be started and my inbox has infinity emails that need to be answered, but before I get into all of that I wanted to share an insight that I had this morning as I prayed.

This morning I was reading from Exodus 28 which is all about the special outfit that Aaron must wear as a priest. It must have really been something to look at. The color scheme was blue, purple, and red. There was a gold seal worn as a crown on his forehead. A breast piece with 12 stones, each engraved with the name of the tribe of Israel. And to top it all off a stylish sash. Then after Aaron had put all that on they would anoint him with oil and on the seventh day of his consecration they would sprinkle blood on him. Now try to picture what you would look like in that!

If you can't imagine it, you would look like this guy with oil and blood on his clothes...

But more to the point. I don't think you can read about Aaron and the priesthood without thinking about what Hebrews says about Jesus being our great high priest. Aaron and the priests went to all this effort to bring the presence of God to His people. They would be unable to approach or have any access to God without the priests intervening on their behalf. God was, quite simply, unapproachable because of their sin.

But. Jesus is the one who didn't need to be consecrated or set apart because he was already holy. He was stripped of his garments and he was beaten until he was blue, purple, and red. Instead of a crown of gold he wore a crown of thorns. And instead of a breast piece bearing the names of Israel's tribes, He himself stood in for Israel to take their punishment. But why?

So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. - Galatians 3

So that we could exchange our filthy rags for robes of pure white. Aaron wore clothing that gave him glory, honor, and respect. But this was just a shadow of the glory, honor, and respect that is due to the ultimate high priest, Jesus. Yet Jesus did not cling to glory, honor, or respect, but rather gave them all up so that our filthy rags could be traded for robes of pure white and our decaying bodies could be clothed with immortality. We have a great high priest who knows us and who suffered so that he could bring us into the presence of God without spot or blemish.

Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. - Ephesians 5

God's Will and Our Dreams and Prayers

2011-07-22T14:06:00.001-04:00

I love being a pastor. I love leading a group of friends to accomplish more together than we ever could separately. I love teaching, and the constant state of humble learning that it requires. I love guiding people as they develop their God given gifts. And I'm honored to walk with people as they go through the challenging times of life; I would never say that this is a part of the job that I "enjoy," but I definitely feel the weight of it. And so because I love what I do and I'm a bit ambitious (that is the nice word, when I'm apart from God it's called arrogance) I have dreams for the future. I'll spare you the details, but my dreams include being a pastor well into the foreseeable future.

What are your greatest dreams? I've learned the hard way that while the heart's desire for some particular object is breakable, the heart's need to have an ultimate desire is unconquerable. So perhaps you've set your heart of having a great family, or your kids wanting to hang around with you, or to be at the top of your profession, or to make enough money to retire by 50, or to make it as an artist, or to be needed by someone, or to have a good time while your alive, or to have the most facebook friends of anyone you know. I don't know what your dreams entail, but for the sake of this post please engage with the discipline of actually thinking to yourself, what would make you extremely happy if you obtained it? Or what is your greatest dream?

Recently a mentor of mine challenged me in a profound way.

He said to me, "What would you do if God called you to move to Topeka and become a used-car salesman?"

I paused. For a very long time. "Well... I guess I would talk to Heather about it and figure out a way to make it happen." It was clear to both him and I that, whatever I did, I wouldn't be very happy about it.

"That's not a bad response," he replied. "But you know what would be an even better response? I want what God wants."

It hit me like a punch in the stomach. I didn't want what God wanted, I wanted what I wanted. And I was viewing God as either a springboard or an obstacle to getting what I wanted. And in chasing down my own desires (in a very "religious" guise I might add) I had neglected wanting the one thing that could really fulfill me. God. God! Because he is beautiful in and of himself. Because he is Wisdom itself. Because he knows what will truly fulfill me and not leave me wanting more. Because he has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loves me.

What container could hold the sorrows of Christ? Could you find a bucket or a barrel big enough to contain the pain, the anguish, the torment, and the infinite sacrifice of the man of sorrows. No one could dare try, the container would simply run over. And as the sorrow and the affliction of Christ splashed upon you, then you would find yourself cut to the quick, and in love with Christ for his own sake, and his own glory, and because his faithfulness cannot be measured, nor seen, nor contained, nor understood by a mortal man. And as his blood has washed away our sins, we shall find that his sorrows wash away our doubts. When you see the cross and know that he marched up the hill of calvary for you, then you will no longer doubt his love.

A couple of days after this encounter with my mentor. I was reading through the gospel of Matthew. You know what Jesus says? "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me... My Father if it is possible may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."

When we have learned that Jesus followed his Father's will even unto death, we will put to death our own desires and learn to follow Jesus. Then our unanswered prayers blow like chaff in the wind, for our "present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Because we know that we have a God in heaven who suffered and died for us, so will he not also give us every good gift that is for our benefit. He hears us no doubt. But more than he hears us:

He loves us,

Oh how he loves us,

Oh how he loves.

Skipping Stones : on unanswered prayer

2011-07-18T09:23:00.007-04:00

To my mother who epitomizes faith seeking understanding.

One of my favorite tricks of nature is the skipping stone. If you throw a stone across the face of the water at just the right angle, with just the right velocity, and a high enough angular momentum (to keep the flat stone parallel to the surface) the stone strives against its apportioned metaphoric role in life. Quite simply, it refuses to sink like a stone.

For a little while anyway. Eventually they all sink. For those without the skill maybe only one skip, or embarrassingly, none at all. Just a deep sploonk to remind us of our incompetence. But to those with the will, the determination, the skill, yea, the copious amounts of free time, stone may be the master of water and gravity for perhaps even ten skips. But in the end, they all sink.

I find that prayer is like this. We think if we can put together the right ingredients, then perhaps God will intervene, even if only briefly, into the natural state of affairs that is our lives. A sickness won't run it's course. A job will be provided immediately. A spouse won't leave. Whatever it may be. And the ingredients aren't hard to figure out. We'll need to be humble for sure, earnest, "living right" is probably key, faith must be critical, and sometimes we'll throw in a bargain just to sweeten the deal. If you've been a Christian for a while you've probably also heard a three point sermon on prayer which added even more specifics like praying purposefully, powerfully, and with perseverance (or something that started with three P's).

But even when we manage to put all the ingredients together we find that sooner or later the stone sinks. We don't get what we ask for, in fact we get the exact opposite. Our prayers go unanswered and sink into the murky, mysterious abyss that we have given the name God's Will. This is actually where we begin to run into trouble. When your prayers go unanswered, what does that mean? Does it mean you don't have faith? Does it mean God doesn't care? Or perhaps he's not there after all? Maybe we didn't pray with the right ingredients or in the right way. Unanswered prayer appears to present a problem to faith.

I don't pretend to know why God does or doesn't answer any specific prayer. But I know that in the Bible prayer is always more than asking God for things. It is at least that, but it is much more. Critical to understanding the pillar of prayer, however is the cornerstone of the relationship between man and God. How do we relate? That question must be answered to set the parameters we could expect in the communication between man and God.

The basic category for understanding God's work in the world as given through the scriptures is that of a Father to his children. Those who come to Jesus Christ as their savior are given a Spirit of Adoption. This means that besides knowing God as a powerful creator, we are brought into an intimate relationship with God, where we are his children and he is our Father. This means that although he will exercise his fatherly discipline in us for our training and good, he may also grant us the desires of our hearts, specifically when they aren't bad for us. And furthermore he is not punishing us because all of our punishment fell upon Jesus. When children complain and wish they didn't have to go to school and ask to stay home all day, we as good parents make our children go to school anyway because although they will have to suffer in the mean time, it will be for their good in the end. However if this same child wants the latest video game, we may grant it to them simply because we love them and because we want them to have the desires of their hearts. This is the controlling picture in the Bible and it is used in such a way that we are actually to understand it as more than metaphor. We are to cry out to God as our Father.

It is this relationship with God as Father that makes all the difference, and this is unique in the world religions. Buddism, Hinduism, Shinto and others teach that there is no ultimate personal god to answer your prayers. Perhaps prayer may bring you into alignment with reality and thus produce a different perspective on the events in your world, or prayer and worship of a lesser god may manipulate them into providing the desired result for you. But the ultimate reality is impersonal. In Islam, God is thought to be sovereign, but we must submit to him rather than address him intimately which would be considered disrespectful. In Judaism we learn that there is a creator god who is personal, sustains the universe, and intervenes graciously on behalf of his people. But it is only the Gospel which teaches us that this god is triune, that he has come into this world not to rule but to suffer in love for his creation and that he desires to be personally known as Abba, Father.

And in this relationship with God as Father, which is granted to us through our allegiance to the Son, knowing God takes the center stage of prayer. What is your main aim in communicating with your earthly Father? Well when you were young, it probably was to get things from him, or to manipulate him, or to ask permission to do something you like. But as you mature, you desire to know him. What was his life like? What kind of man is he, really? What was his family like? And the more you talk the more you desire to know him, because after all you are made in your Father's image. Now when it come to God it is the same. And the more we do get to know God through spending time with him in prayer and scripture reading the more we know his character and the more we can trust him, even when the circumstances in our lives seem opposed to the idea that God is in control, and cares, and is powerful enough to act.

Let me explain. My father is one of the hardest working men that I have ever known in my life. He is the kind of guy that believes you can sleep when you're dead, NOT when you are home on Spring break from college! So if someone came to me and said, I visited your parent's house and it is in disarray, and furthermore it is because your father has become lazy and just sits around all day drinking margaritas and watching TV. I could tell you for an absolute fact that it is not true. Why? Because I know my father's character and as a result I trust him. And I have learned that from years of being with him, talking to him, spending time with him, watching him at work, and watching him always come through.

When you pray, the most important thing you can do is get to know God. Get to know your heavenly Father. And as time progresses you will find that he proves himself faithful over and over and over and over again. He did for Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Rahab, Gideon, David, and a host of others. And as you remember the cross of Jesus Christ you begin to know with your whole being, as though you could touch it and taste it, that God loves you and cares for you deeply. When the cross of Jesus Christ becomes a controlling reality in your life you simply cannot doubt God's fatherly care and concern for you because he has been so faithful to you in the past.

So you see that faith is blind and it is not blind. It is blind in that you simply cannot see all the plans of an almighty, sovereign god and often must trust him despite every evidence to the contrary that he is at work in you and in our world. But, faith is not blind, because you are not trusting in faith, or prayer, or spirituality, but in the God who has proved himself to be faithful a thousand times before. You are praying to the God who gave Abraham a child in his old age, who provided a wife for Isaac from among his own people, who blessed Jacob when no one else would, who made Moses a spokesperson though he could not speak, who brought salvation to the house of the pagan Rahab, and who raised his son Jesus from the grave. And to those who know the Lord, a hundred other examples of his faithfulness are found in a life of faith.

So once your relationship has been established, ask away. What father does not care to hear what his children desire and give it to them? He will give you the desires of your heart that will make you holy. And it has been my experience that sometimes he will give you the desires of your heart that will not make you holy, so that you may eat of the fruit of the tree that you have planted and taste the bitterness that comes from roots planted in soil other than the word of God.

And so as you face another obstacle in your life and pick up another stone to cast upon the waters of uncertainty, wondering whether this rock will sink, know this. That the God whom you know so well will always work his will to make you holy, and the God who did not spare his only Son will always love you well, whether the stone sinks or floats.

The Gospel and Sea Turtle Eggs

2011-06-28T12:42:00.007-04:00

There are a lot of suburban white people (and their children) who are allergic to clearly defined lines and boundaries. If you draw a line in the sand about a doctrine or a truth, they whine about how people should be having a "conversation" about it instead of being bull-headed. I think this is bull-crap.

There is, of course, a normal way of knowing that leads to arrogance. I know all about this, I've prided myself on my intelligence for most of my life despite knowing that God says that man's wisdom is foolishness to God. Knowledge made me arrogant, or as Paul says in the Bible: knowledge puffs up, while love builds up. So God did what God always does with the arrogant. He cared too much to leave me that way so he graciously humbled me. Hard.

Regardless, Paul goes on to say that "knowledge puffs up while love builds up. Those who think they know something do not yet know as they ought to know. But whoever loves God is known by him." You see one of the reasons that very religious people are often intolerable is because they have knowledge, and they have truth, and they have right doctrine, and they have right-er doctrine than everyone else. And that knowledge puffs up and they are arrogant and right all the time. I can't stand people who are always right (funny how that is so often myself...).

I think that in regard to religion many people find their justification in being right. Or to use religious language: they make an idol out of correct doctrine.

But the gospel is different than religion. The gospel brings us to a place where we are accepted and justified based on the work that God has done. Not on how correct our doctrine is or how much knowledge we have. If you are justifying your existence through knowledge you will be arrogant when you are right and neurotic and embarrassed when you find out you are wrong. It will be absolutely necessary to win arguments because you are not discussing ideas, but justifying your own existence. But when you really grab hold of the gospel you have no inner need to win every argument because you know that you are accepted and justified not on the basis of what you know or how much you know, but on the basis of the one who became utter foolishness so that we could gain the true knowledge of the Lord. That is, we could be known by him, because "everyone who loves God is known by him."

My friend Brian Miller and I used to argue for hours at a time. And I'm sure you remember the days before the internet or iphones when an argument could only be settled with a dictionary, and encyclopedia, a library, or an expert. Arguments could literally go on forever! Brian and I would argue about everything, and he was an expert arguer. I specifically remember the time we argued about how many eggs sea turtles lay (and I remember this because it is one of the few arguments I won. The answer: over a hundred.). But when we argued it was for fun, or more likely, to win. The whole point was in the argument itself. Who was a better arguer? This is the opposite of gospel knowledge. Paul says that true knowledge brings a relationship between the knower and the known. And so it is with God. If your knowledge of God doesn't make you more like him: more humble, more generous, more sacrificial, then it is just like an argument over sea turtle eggs.

Only the gospel brings you to a place where you can be both bold in your assertion of the truth and humble in your grasp on it.

The Gospel and Parenting

2011-06-07T09:49:00.002-04:00

The gospel is not the ABC's of the Christian faith. It is the A to Z of the Christian faith.

I'm currently in the process of learning what so many of you promised that I would... that parenting takes sacrifice. For Heather more so than for myself right now, but still. And I am reminded that the sacrifices that I or Heather make, which seem big right now, are still just a shadow of the cross.

The cross is where God showed the extent of his willingness to sacrifice for us to become his children. The only difference is that while Jude just stays up all night and poops, we were in active disobedience and rebellion toward God.

And the very life of Christ is in us. "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." The one who at infinite cost to himself sacrificed to make us a part of God's family, gives us the strength to sacrifice for our families. How could we do anything less? The gospel both demands it and invites us joyfully into this life.

Uncle Robert

2011-06-06T09:10:00.002-04:00

My Uncle is fighting cancer, but it's not going well. His wife Shirley was instrumental in me coming to faith at Flamingo Road Church. His son Matthew wrote this. Wow:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

A close friend of mine shared these words of the Apostle Paul with me this evening. It's hard to reconcile all things working for the good of us through our flesh-wrapped minds when getting the kind of news we received about my dad today.

The cancer has returned. It's spreading, traveling along a nerve in his mouth, the reason for much of his pain. It's terminal, his doctor giving him the most sobering of numbers no one wants to ever hear: 10% success rate of treatment, likely 6 months to live.

To borrow a line from Paul a few verses later, "What, then, shall we say in response to these things?" Well, to be completely honest, this news is so what we did not want to hear. It's awful. Horrible. Why, after so much, has it had to come to this? I know that's not where Paul was coming from, but I can't hide the fact how terrible this really is.

In the world of marketed Christianity, you expect a good ending with situations like these, where prayers are answered abundantly, prosperity flows, and in the film version, Kirk Cameron smiles brightly into the camera amid happily ever afters. I know I've harped on this before, but unfortunately, that's not always the case in real life. Reality knocked out any notion of guaranteed deliverance according to the will of our prayers that had crept into our thinking with this situation. Jesus promised we'd have trouble. And Paul himself wrote the very words above amid multiple beatings and persecution in a story that ultimately ended with his own gruesome demise.

The moral of the story? Life can be bad. Really bad. But God is good. So good. I like to think as Paul wrote verse 28, he inked "And we know" in the biggest, boldest, most underlined letters possible. We know because we're sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see.

So where is the good? We may never fully realize it on this side of eternity. But we've seen so much already. As physical health fails, spiritual health has been richly nourished. Despite already being a momma's boy, the relationship with my parents has grown so much stronger, and recent conversations--despite his inability to speak--and moments shared with my dad have become some of the most cherished of my lifetime. The sharing and praying and giving among friendships here, there, and other places across the country have been overwhelmingly amazing. That's just the good that's been visible.

My hope is that there's even more good, where God is richly glorified by this, with an impact the reverberates far beyond these days into That Day where the old has passed, death is gone, and every tear is wiped away from every eye. I like to think that's where God is working the most good, using the calling He's given us--both good and bad circumstances --for His purpose and His glory, regardless of what it does or costs to us.

All this said, we're not willing to throw in the towel. Especially when "Fight! Fight! Fight!" has been the rallying cry for the last 18 months. My dad wants to try the 10% option at least for a bit to see how he can handle the side effects, so that will start Monday. If it's too much to bare, he'll fight with his spirit. We still have faith, and we still have hope.

As Paul says in the second half of verse 31, "If God is for us, who can be against us"? Our God is greater and stronger (as Chris Tomlin sings along with his quote of Paul), and we know it's never beyond our Heavenly Father to still heal my earthly one. As my mom's uncle, one of the most amazing men of faith I know, said today, "They told me I had six months left 10 years ago." So to borrow another line from another favorite Chris Tomlin song: where He goes, we'll go; where He stays, we'll stay; when He moves, we'll move; We will follow... While our circumstances may be bad, "all His ways are good, all His ways are sure, and we'll trust in Him alone."

As for how we're all processing this, my parents are slowing coming to grips with this news, with conversation replacing tears as the night deepens and the more people they tell. My dad's one of the toughest, strongest people I know, and I've so admired the courage and resolve he's shown--especially dealing with everything without complaining or bitterness. He'll continue to fight, fight, fight all that he can. And my mom has been an amazing bedrock of faith, strength and caregiving through it all. I could not be blessed with better parents than the ones God gave me, and I so admire them for the battle they're enduring.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. They'll need it even more now. Thank you for fighting with us.

Why do you pursue God?

2011-05-23T12:55:00.002-04:00

Do you love God?

This is the question we run about trying to answer when we engage in church activities. Am I loving God well? Am I loving God through my worship, or with my job, or in my finances? We spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out if each area of our lives is in line with the Bible. We spend an inordinate amount of energy making sure that we are loving God.

Let me suggest a question that you can use in your own life (and in your LG to get people thinking):

Why do you pursue God?

This is a huge question that we don't often think about. Pastor Robbie McLaughlin brought forward one aspect of this in his message this week, specifically that sometimes we pursue God because our parents pursued God and it seems like the right thing to do. More often though, we just don't know why we pursue God. Let me give you two very common reasons why people pursue God.

1.) Often times we pursue God by being incredibly religious, moral people. We pray all the time, read the Bible, and speak of how great God is. And we do this so that God will bless us. Specifically, we try to be so good and so religious that God has to take us to heaven when we die. And when we live like this we believe there is a limit to what God can ask of us because deep down we believe that God is really in our debt! We feel we have been so religious that God must do good things for us. When getting God to bless you (we wouldn't say tricking God into blessing you, but that's what it is) is your primary motivation for pursuing God, you don't need Jesus to be your savior, because you are your own savior. Underneath what you say, the motivations of your heart show that you think you have saved yourself by being so good that God has to take you to heaven. This is a religious way of life.

2.) The second reason we pursue God is because he is beautiful. When something is beautiful it has worth and value in and of itself. This is perhaps the best way to describe God especially considering the cross. When you realize that you can't justify yourself by being your own Lord and you can't justify yourself by being so good that God has to take you to heaven when you die, you realize that your only basis for justifying your ongoing existence in this universe is how deeply you have been loved by God, in Jesus Christ. You realize that God already accepts you, and therefore you obey him because he is worthy to be obeyed. When you live like this you pray all the time, read the Bible, and speak of how great God is. But now it is not so that God owes you, it is out of grateful joy. This is a gospel way of life.

Three Ways to Live

2011-05-17T11:51:00.003-04:00

[I want to say that the ideas in this post come from Tim Keller.]

Most people think there are two ways to live. And many churches and pastors teach that there are two ways to live.

God's Way or Your Way. Religion or Irreligion. Moralism or Relativism.

Often times we think this way, but for certain the people you come into contact with every day think this way: your life group members, co-workers, neighbors, family members, and friends from your club-of-choice.

Often times your lost friends fall into the second camp. They are going their own way. They are their own Lord, and although it may be difficult to see, they are their own savior as well. They are trying to justify their existence in some way or another. If I could just succeed at work... If my kids just turn out ok... I he or she just loved me... If I could just live in that neighborhood... If people liked me... If my dad was proud of me... then my existence would be justified. They don't need to justification through faith because they are their own justification. The only problem is (and it's a big problem) if you come up short there is no forgiveness. As Pastor Tim Keller says, your job can't die for your sins. Jesus is the only savior who, if you get him, will satisfy you completely, and if you fail him will forgive you fully.

Here's where it gets tricky. When you tell your lost friends (and life group members) about the grace found in Jesus, they almost always assume that you are asking them to become really religious, and very moralistic. In short you are asking them to act good. Now who wants to do that!? You have to present them with a third way to live. There is religion. There is irreligion. And then there is the Gospel.

Irreligion is one way of saying, "I don't need God." But there is another more subtle way of saying that you don't need God. And that is by being so good, so moral, so religious, that you feel like God is required to bless you. You have been so good that God owes you heaven. When you are living like this Jesus may be your example, or your teacher, or your sugar-daddy, but he's not your savior. Because you are your own savior. Being incredibly religious is another way of saying, "I don't need God."

People need to hear that the Gospel is neither relativism (I do what I want) nor moralism (I'm so good that God does what I want), but it is something completely different. It is news that we are already justified by God and therefore we love him and worship him and obey him, not because of what we can get but because of how beautiful he is.

Remember

2011-05-12T11:34:00.000-04:00

I forget a lot.

At this exact moment, I have no idea where my keys are. I haven't known for two weeks now.

I have three separate to-do lists to keep my life organized. Only problem is, I've lost one of my to-do lists.

We all have systems in place in our lives to help us remember. For some the system is as simple as asking your wife what on earth you are supposed to be doing. For others there is an elaborate system in place, be it a Franklin Planner or some other scheme. And we do all this to remember the details of life. The smaller the detail the less it matters: if we forget to pick up the laundry on Wednesday we won't be talking about it in 20 years. However as things get more important the system becomes more important. Don't forget to pick up young Conner from school, or we will all be making fun of you in 20 years for that time you left him behind!

As people of faith we know that there is nothing more important to remember than God. But that is so broad that you almost can't do anything with it.

Try putting that on your to-do list: remember God. Check!

For most of us, we live with a vague to-do in the background. Remember God. And we do this by symbolically pointing our finger heavenward when we score our worldly touchdown. The project was a success. "Well, we got out there and gave it 110% and I'd like to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I love you mom!"

But remembering in the Bible is tied to the concrete action of God in the middle of our nasty world. It is tied in an ultimate way to the cross. And remembering the gospel changes everything about the way that you live. Only when you remember the gospel are you secure enough, humble enough, comforted enough, satisfied enough to focus on God instead of yourself.

In my next post I will lay out some more specifics of how to do this. But my question for today is, do you have a system in place so that you remember? If there is nothing more important than relating to your creator and savior then there must be a system to make sure that you remember.

The problem of the Problem of Evil

2011-04-26T10:07:00.002-04:00

There is a philosophical problem known as the Problem of Evil. It includes three propositions that, if all are true, create a problem. They are:

1. God is omnipotent (totally powerful)

2. God is benevolent (totally good)

3. Evil exists

So the logic goes, if God is totally good and completely powerful, why are there tsunamis, earthquakes, plagues, famines, murder, and the like? Now here is my confession:

I have always been completely perplexed by the problem of evil.

It is meant to call into question either a) God's character or b) God's strength. Because the logic goes, either he is not powerful enough to do anything, or he doesn't care. What I find interesting is that people use The Problem to call into question whether or not God exists, but not whether evil exists. Why? Because nobody denies the existence of evil. It exists as a reality that we must face.

Here is where things get tricky. Who decides what is evil and good? People have an inbuilt system of justice. If there is no creator and no moral standard then nothing could be truly be unjust. Notions of morality become nothing more than the manner in which human society holds together. Nothing is truly unjust, simply distasteful.

I find that it makes much more sense to look at evil, not as a problem, but as a reality. How are you going to deal with this reality? The normal choices are to a) embrace relativism, in which no one but the individual can decide what is right or wrong. This cheapens the actual human awareness of something very real that we would call "evil." In this scenario, there is no such thing as evil, rather, there is only one individual competing with another for survival, and often the most violent or untrustworthy win. The second choice, which is not as often noted is b) embrace morality or religion. In this manner of dealing with evil we do certain things, often religious in order to manipulate God into doing what we want. We deem ourselves good people and so in this scenario God owes us. We can't become sick, or poor, or suffer injustice because we've held up our end of the bargain. If you hold this moralistic/religious worldview The Problem of Evil really messes with you. And what really gets you is when evil actually happens to you. "Jesus, Buddha, Zeus, Satan, whoever... you owe me!!!"

But the gospel offers a third way. The gospel says that God was not satisfied with the state of affairs in the world. He was deeply troubled by all the trouble people experience. And as a result God felt both love and anger. And don't they go together, really? The more you love someone, the angrier you get when they are hurt by someone else, or if they are destroying themselves. So God did the unthinkable. He entered into our hurt, broken world, himself. And took the penalty for all of that evil upon himself. Not so that we could act better. But so we can see, God has already accepted us and God is with us in our suffering.

That's not really a complete thought, but I have to take Robbie to the church.

The Challenge of Clean Volunteering

2011-04-20T12:20:00.004-04:00

For many of us, dirty is not the normal state of our lives. We work indoors and push the little buttons in front of us. If we do that in the right order, it creates words on a screen. We then quickly send them off to someone else's screen where they are observed one time then deleted (or increasingly archived). Then they send images of words back to us which we then delete. If life is really good, someone sends us a video of a dramatic chipmunk.

Now, not all my friends are like this. There's a lot of guys at NLC that work with their hands every day, and I'm really proud to know guys that can actually build an entire house. But for most of us, even if we're not on a computer, we're moving things around a warehouse, or serving other people food, or selling something indoors. Now to the point!

I think this affects our view of what it means to volunteer somewhere. I mean we volunteer for the PTA, but let's face it, that isn't terribly meaningful. And we volunteer for the Scouts, but we don't have to dig very deep to know that it's really so that our own children have a great experience. For us "real" volunteering means getting dirty somewhere, serving someone poor, somewhere uncomfortable. That's how you really know your doing something selfless!

Or is it? True need doesn't come prepackaged. I see incredible value in serving the materially poor somewhere dirty and uncomfortable. And I'm sure the poor would be pretty happy about it, too. But this attitude marginalizes the service rendered in familiar and clean places. Case in point in the USA: the local church.

The local church is the hope of the world. There is no Plan B. God never said, "I will build a renewed Habitat for Humanity, and the gates of Hades shall not overcome it." He said he would build his church. Habitat rocks. But people with new houses without the hope of the gospel are living in a pimped-out earthly tent, without a heavenly one to match it. The local church is the hope of the world. And when you volunteer with the local church for the sake of the Savior who has called you to do it. That is the only time you can truly be selfless. Because it is not for you. It's for him, and his name, and his glory, and his people. So when you finish don't say, "Well I certainly feel better about myself now." Say, "I did what I was asked and isn't he worth it all?"

The Scarlet Letter

2011-04-12T09:37:00.005-04:00

The assignment was David for the series, No Perfect People Allowed. The idea for the Scarlet Letter tie-in came from a lunch with Robbie where he told me he really didn't like the movie Easy A.

No Perfect People Allowed Week 2 Teaching from NextLevelChurch on Vimeo.

I Got a New Typewriter

2011-04-06T16:04:00.001-04:00

This is exactly how I feel about my new typewriter.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/31/fashion/31Typewriter.html?_r=2&src=dayp

Who can be saved? Part 3 - good or bad news

2011-03-31T12:45:00.003-04:00

So did Good News just become the ultimate Bad News.

If it seems like the gospel is actually incredibly bad news for people who don't believe it is because we confuse information with situation. It is as though you have a family member who is dying of cancer. They will continue to live for sometime, but eventually they will die. Here is the kicker, they have no idea. They are in a life-threatening situation. Nothing you say or don't say will change that. But if you walk into the room and tell them, "You have cancer and you are going to die, I'm sorry." (You're not very tactful, apparently. Way to go.) You are not changing the situation at all, you are simply bringing light to it. The gospel message is just like this, except it comes with brilliant news: "A local doctor has invented the cure for your kind of cancer. You need only to phone him and she'll come and bring it to you and you'll be saved!" Saying that people are destined for an eternity of destruction apart from the God who gives life is not making it so. It is just bringing light to a very confused situation.

This is part of the reason that people get so upset about the suggestion that non-Christian peoples will "go to hell." They are confusing the actual situation, with the information about the situation and the remedy! Why would it be that people who never desire to come toward the God who gives life will suddenly desire such a thing when they are dead? It makes no sense. It is as CS Lewis said, "There are people who say to God, 'Thy will be done.' And there are people to whom God says in the end 'Thy will be done.'" Or in my version at the end of life there are people who say, "Jesus Christ..." and people who say, "Jesus Christ!!!" Besides, the one thing we don't need to worry about in this discussion is that God will turn out, in the end, to be unjust.

Perhaps this is why I have never been too bothered by the "Problem of Evil." This is a largely philosophical question that states: Because of all the evil and destruction we see in the world. Either God is all-powerful and he doesn't care, or God is all-good and he isn't powerful enough to help. But, the Bible states quite clearly that God has two solutions to the problem of evil. The first is to destroy the earth and all of its inhabitants, which the Bible shows quite clearly that God is fully justified in doing because of our sinful and evil actions (Remember Noah's ark? In children's church they always talk about the animals, but never all the people drowning to death...). The second is the cross. God allows this present evil age to continue, because he is patiently bearing with us in order to accomplish his glorious, beautiful plan of reconciling people to himself and restoring all of creation.

When we see the cross, we may not have the most immediate answers to evil, but the one thing we can't say is that God doesn't care.

Who can be saved? Part 2 - sin

2011-03-31T11:56:00.002-04:00

American Christianity has tended towards ever weaker doctrines of sin in general and original sin in particular. We just don't believe we're that bad and I don't think it's that big of a guess as to why.

I'm not a big, "back in my day..." kind of guy, but I do know that I was just on the front end of what has come to be known as the "trophy generation." Nobody loses, we all had fun and we're all winners. Now this is a completely unwarranted sidebar, but I think that this is incredibly stupid. Especially since, once the kids are 7 or 8 years old, they know every time who won and who lost even though we're "not keeping score." Anyways, if this is a very new phenomena then it is born of a very old American belief about being able to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. This has bled over into our national folk religion and it's no surprise. The gospel militates against every notion of religion that man has ever had. At it's core Christianity is not about advice; it is about news. The kind of news that changes things.

But the very first piece of news that the Bible delivers us, Genesis chapter 3, is that we cannot save ourselves. We tend to view salvation as a big project, say building a big shed out back of the house. In our mental scheme religions come as a project kit. The beliefs form the plans, the community forms the materials, and the rituals are the tools we need to make the whole thing right. If we come to a point in our life where we care about such a spiritual concern as "salvation" we go find the Christianity toolkit at our local church. Mostly because, A) it is convenient and B) it is the least likely thing to make our neighbors think we're kooky. Then we put all the pieces in place.

Believe the right thing. Check.
Hang with the right community. Check.
Use the rituals. (worship, communion, etc.) Check.

But that's not news. Thats a bunch of advice on how to be saved. Do this. Don't do that. Don't handle, don't touch, don't taste. All of it advice. True Christianity breaks into that world of advice with earth shattering news, for those with ears to hear. You cannot save yourself! This is as fundamental to understanding the gospel as understanding that Christ died for you. Why? Because until you come to understand it, not just believe it intellectually but really understand it, you will have no need for God at all, except to make sure he has to give you what you want when you die. That doesn't sound like the powerful creator God of the universe, it sounds like an idol. I will make these sacrifices for you: Sunday mornings, alcohol, smoking, fun. And in return you must give me everlasting pleasure when I die. Deal? Deal. If you find yourself in a situation where you are actually manipulating God, then what you are manipulating is not God. For God cannot, and will not be mocked.

Instead, God breaks into our home-improvement project with news. You cannot save yourself. So stop trying. That in itself sounds like the beginning of good news. But it gets better/worse. You have not just made mistakes. You have purposefully and deliberately chosen things from creation to satisfy the desire for me that I created you with. You have rebelled against me. You have shown contempt for me. And the closer you get to the Lord the more you understand this to be true for sure. We haven't accidentally sinned. We have willfully, deliberately, with pre-meditation sinned against the only source of life ever to be found, the Creator God of the Universe. And it doesn't matter whether we've heard the gospel or not, we've still sinned against God. Sin doesn't exist because the gospel awakens it. Sin exists because our own darkened, deceitful hearts awaken it. Uh oh.

Thats right, we have chosen to cut ourself off from relationship with the only source of life available. So why aren't we dead? This is actually a pretty good question. The best answer is that God's very character determines that he patiently takes things which are broken and beautifully and imaginatively reconstructs and restores them. He does this with individual people and he is doing this with our world.

But if sin actually separates us from God, then how can we be saved apart from a solution to the sin problem? This was the fundamental problem with Israel. Israel was God's plan to save the world and it was actually a successful plan. Israel as a nation could not bring God's blessing of reconciliation to the world because she, herself was under the curse of sin. So a faithful Israelite acted in her stead to bring God's blessing of reconciliation to all the nations of the world, by absorbing the penalty of our sin into himself. First to the Jew, then to the rest of the nations. And this faithful Israelite, Jesus, did not stay dead, but rose from the dead. The claim of the early church was this: Jesus is Lord. That is, Jesus is in charge of the entire world. Everything. Every nation that has power remains under the power of Christ. Every ruler that has authority is under the authority of Jesus. Every spiritual power, human authority, principality is ultimately subject to the rule of Jesus as is every human being alive. This is the kind of news that changes things.

And the truth that the Bible teaches is that only people who respond to this news and reorient their hearts and lives accordingly in this life will be saved. Regardless of what "religion" they are.

Who can be saved? Part 1 - worldview

2011-03-31T10:58:00.003-04:00

I spent a pretty good amount of time discussing who goes to heaven and who doesn't this past week. This is not normal conversation for me. I find it pretty distasteful, honestly.

But there are two ways to frame the question. The first way is to ask whether a person has responded to God's offer of salvation. This is ridiculous speculation. My stock answer: "I don't know, I haven't checked the Lamb's Book of Life lately." The second way is to ask the question, "does one have to respond to God's offer of salvation in this life to be saved?" And that is quite a different question indeed.

I find that when Christians address this topic they are often times more colored by the worldview from which they come, say Western Post-enlightenment American, than the worldview proposed by Scripture. So I suppose that makes this post Part 1.

Since we posses a worldview different than that of the biblical authors it is only natural that we find parts of scripture distasteful. Perhaps for you it is the Bible naming homosexual acts as sin. Or perhaps it is animal sacrifice. Or perhaps it is the teaching that women should submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Or perhaps it is the doctrine of the wrath of God. Did I hit you yet? Our natural response to this is to stand in judgement of the worldview of scripture.

"Well, it's views toward women are outdated, but the principles for life in general hold true."
"That may have been true 1,000 years ago, but it's not anymore."
"The biblical authors didn't have the information we did today, but the Bible can still help you live a good life."
And on, and on...

But when we refuse to allow the worldview of scripture to challenge our own, think about the claim that this is subtly making. "We here in the 21st century in America, have a privileged position from which to look. Our worldview is completely correct and therefore things that challenge it shall be labeled 'intolerant'." We would never do this with an Asian worldview or an African worldview, so why is it that we do this with the one worldview (and it's derivative culture) that is given to us as God's revelation of himself? Perhaps our pride has gone before us.

All this talk of worldview can be extremely esoteric, so let me break it down for you. The biblical worldview of the early Christians (as best I can tell) is this: There is a Creator God who is distinct from, yet intimately involved in his creation. He created man to be in relationship with him and work for him, yet man disobeyed God and has purposefully chosen life apart from him. Man has chosen to separate himself from life itself. God graciously allows man to continue to exist in this state because he has a plan to restore relationship with women and men. God's plan to reconcile men to himself involves this God actively intervening in the events of history. The climax of this intervention is the sending of Jesus Christ God's son. This has inaugurated the kingdom of God where humanity is restored to God. During the current period God's chosen people, the Church, are empowered by the Spirit of God to be a sign and foretaste of this kingdom, which will come fully and powerfully to reconcile all of creation, man included.

Now, here is where it all comes back to how we view the Bible. Scripture is the God-given record of the activity of this Creator God in history to humankind. It is the way that God shows and tells people what He is like, what we are like, how we can be reconciled to him, and in large measure how we are designed to live. It makes no sense to believe in the saving activity of God in Jesus Christ apart from believing in the God who collapsed the walls of Jericho upon its inhabitants as judgement for their sin.

The challenge for Christians then is to understand themselves in light of the story of Scripture and to have their worldview changed more and more into the worldview of the Bible. I think the biggest challenge to this is self-righteousness, but that takes us to Part 2.

Isaiah

2011-03-24T13:18:00.002-04:00

It's a new dawn. It's a new day.

Say to the captives, "Come Out"

and to those in Darkness, "Be Free!"

The Colloquy of Regent, Article V

2010-10-29T16:22:00.004-04:00

I was reading an essay today on a meeting between the catholic church and the reformers (specifically Melanchthon and Calvin were present) to try to bridge their theological gap. It was one of several such meetings. While ultimately the meetings were unsuccessful, they did manage to produce consensus on the nature of man and original sin and, surprisingly, justification. The meeting was known as the Regensburg Colloquy and it was article V that dealt specifically with justification.
While the document has some flaws, it is truly remarkable because you can scarcely believe what the Catholics agreed to!
Here is a sampling:
(3-6) By this faith [man] receives... imputation of righteousness and countless other gifts.
(4-4) "So living faith is... believing that the righteousness that is in Christ is freely imputed to it..."
(5-1) "Although the one who is justified receives righteousness and through Christ also has inherent [righteousness],... the faithful soul depends not on [inherent righteousness], but only on the righteousness of Christ given to us as a gift,"
A word about that last quote. The Catholic understanding of the day was that through faith the grace of God transforms us into better and better men. And this is what we call inherent righteousness. It was long assumed that this is the righteousness that God counted, namely our own. Granted it came from God. But here we find the stunning turn that the Catholic Church (and this was official representatives of the Pope) grants that we are justified by grace through faith because we have the righteousness of Christ imputed to us. They also agree that there is another kind of righteousness which is called "inherent righteousness". This is best thought of as the righteousness that is inherent to a man as by God's grace he is transformed. It is pretty close to what we would call sanctification. So here you have the Catholic Church finally separating justification from sanctification.

Now the document isn't perfect and Luther, who was not present, refused to endorse it. But Calvin did, and Melanchthon was a debater. What is sad is that once this enormous barrier was crossed they basically came to a complete standstill. I suppose that it was so early in the theological development that neither side (especially the Catholics) had grasped the full implications of this key doctrine. Can you imagine Rome signing this document again today. That, indeed, would be a huge step toward ecumenism.

New Child Policy

2010-08-30T15:48:00.001-04:00

Welcome to Next Level Church

We love kids and that is why we have created Kid City for all kids ages birth-5th grade. We would love for your child to join us in Kid City!
If you choose to sit with your pre-school children in the adult service, we ask you to sit on the last two rows.
If your child becomes a distraction in any way, please take your child to the lobby where you can resume watching the service on the TV's provided. Even the happiest babies are distracting to others.

Thank you for your consideration of others and we are glad you are here today!

renown: iPhone fever

2010-07-01T12:45:00.000-04:00

Yeah so I always try not to post in reaction mode. But patricks post,
renown: iPhone fever
really got me thinking in a good way. If the iPhone is $500 and the plan is about $100 a month (for nice round numbers). Then in the first two years you could release 3 children from poverty in Jesus name with that money. http://www.compassion.com/ Or still get yourself a cheap phone and release 2 kids from poverty in Jesus name. I suppose that makes my current phone plan seem kind of stupid.

Sins or Pollution

2010-06-15T22:16:00.001-04:00

The Onion was on it today. I decided not to post the video about soccer and go with this one instead. I'm not really making a statement about anything, I just think it is hilarious. Also, mind the naughty word at 2:20.

Christian Groups: Biblical Armageddon Must Be Taught Alongside Global Warming

stuff

2010-05-31T18:08:00.002-04:00

I had one of those moments in the car today. I parked in the driveway, turned off the car and the radio and just sat there enjoying the precipitous drop in the decibal level. After a few moments of peace, I snatched a book off of the floorboard that I had been planning on giving away. The title was "The Coffeehouse Gospel" and I hadn't remembered it being particularly good the first time around, but I was bored so I flipped it open.
I read about relational evangelism and sharing your story with others. It flipped a switch. I have been reluctant to share my story with other people and I realized why. First, I have now been a follower of Christ for about a decade. So the freshness of conversion and the rapidity of life change has faded. It has been replaced by something different, and in many ways the changes now are deeper changes. God has been affecting my heart and my character more than my behavior. But still, what is happening now is not the story of conversion or rebirth. And as the vividness of that particular set of memories fades, so too does the perceived impact of the related story appear to diminish. So I don't share it, searching instead for some philosophical or cultural argument to convince people. It's exhausting trying to be Tim Keller to every unbeliever you meet.
Second, as I referred to earlier, I had begun to view my "story" as simply the tale of my conversion and rebirth. It might not seem like a big deal, but I think I was reflecting the attitude of a pharisee. When you pretend God's work in you has come to an end you are pretending to be perfect. I know I'm not perfect. That's why I call it pretending. My story is every bit happening today as it was in the year after Christ saved me by the power of the Holy Spirit, bringing me back to God the Father.
At the risk of simultaneously over-reaching and deflecting blame, I think there is an aspect of contemporary evangelical Christianity that has contributed to this attitude. While it is entirely accurate theologically and practically to refer to conversion as salvation, it gives an incomplete picture of what is happening. It is true that we die to a life lived by the power of the flesh and are born again into a life lived by the animating power of the spirit. But there is an aspect of the Christian faith that is deeply rooted in hope. That is, we are waiting confidently with the expectation that God will fulfill his promises to us. That we will be raised, that we will be glorious, that we will be perfected. I think in some way that we can't understand at this point in history we will know then that our salvation is complete. At the risk of blaspheme this means that our salvation at this moment is incomplete. heathers home gotta go.

Tournament Rules and the Dilbert Principle

2010-05-28T18:04:00.006-04:00

[listening to I Will Rise by Tomlin]
I was thinking today about something I read about in freakonomics a couple of years ago. It concerns the "rules of the game" for drug dealers. He called it tournament rules. Everyone runs around making money for whomever is actually in charge for a very small chance at actually making it big. One of his points was that this system mirrors the corporate world. What are the chances that someone will actually end up a CEO someday? Not good if the Peter Principle is true (everyone rises to the level of their incompetence) or it's corollary the Dilbert Principle (companies promote their least competent employees to middle management to limit the amount of havoc they can wreak).
What was a bit of a revelation was that church leadership has operated under tournament rules for quite some time as well. This is unacceptable since our charge is to "make" disciples and not just "find" disciples.
One alternative for the church is the path approach. According to the Ferguson brothers (who probably got it from someone else, who probably got it from...) the path through Small Groups looks like this: Apprentice -> Leader -> Coach -> Director -> Campus Pastor/Church Planter. And I would add another slashie and the words Lead Pastor to that last category. In this path, you are promoted only if and when you show your ability to progress someone to your current level. Therefore you cannot progress from Leader to Coach until you have demonstrated your ability to turn an Apprentice into a successful Leader. Therefore in theory the Peter Principle and (God help us) the Dilbert Principle is avoided.
What limits people moving through the path is lack of desire to advance (which is acceptable for many people), lack of ability to advance (you can only coach so much), or lack of character (which prevents people from getting on the path to begin with). The one reason we cannot or should not stand before God and give is that we didn't do our best to lay the path in front of people and bend over backwards to make progress a real possibility for them. So many of our young people would follow this path if the end goal seemed like a real possibility for them. They would be honored to even be on the path. And even if they choose to stop at a certain level, would not the Kingdom of God be advanced forcefully by someone with the skills to coach small group leaders rather than just sit in the pews?

Give Love Away and Owl City

2009-10-05T22:39:00.002-04:00

No more procrastinating. I decided that chapter two has individually funny sections, all of which are good. It just doesn't make any sense. I'm listening to Owl City. With fronds like these, who needs anemones?

Also, I realized why Give Love Away was so difficult for me this time around. It is what the money in the bank represents to me now. Before it represented literal stuff like a bigger tv or a nice car. For me that's no big deal that's easy to give away. But this year I changed my investment strategy a good bit and started saving more for medium term goals. In my mind what I'm really looking forward to is having a nice house with all the toys, not for me, but so that the kids want to hang there. Nobody ever wanted to hang at my house when I was a kid. [Hello Seattle] I think, I began to think that the money in the bank represented that. Like a great home comes from money and not from the Lord. When I realized that it was so easy to give it up.

And then to top it off, I realized how much we gave last year and then how much we have in the bank this year and I'm like, "What makes me think that God won't be faithful again?" For some reason I forget over and over again that literally everything belongs to God and that ALSO means that he distributes it however he darn well pleases. I still don't know how much we'll give, but at least my attitude is finally tweaked in the right direction.

I think it is a lot like Abraham. You have to be willing to give up what is most valuable to you. Actually it is probably more correct to say that you have to give up (not just be willing) whatever is most valuable to you. If it is good for you or right for you then God returns it and it is his freely given gift. If it's not right for you then you cry yourself to sleep and learn the tiniest bit of Job's lesson. When you question God, sometimes all you get is, "I created the universe. I know what I'm doing." And then sometimes you learn the lesson of Peter and God walks by your side and gently corrects and restores you. Oh God, treat me like Peter! [time together isn't ever quite enough]

Difficulty: Online Bio

2009-06-17T14:49:00.003-04:00

As far as I can tell the real trick is just not coming off completely gay or like an old man trying to sound cool. If I were going to just do it for real it would be this.

Jared Kirk
is 26 and lives in Monroe with his wife Heather and two dogs Ginny and Tonks. He is a Pastor at Next Level Church and enjoys teaching, writing, and Halo 3. He hopes to write a book and have a family some day, not necessarily in that order.

But then you start to think about it. Should you put Monroe or Charlotte, because you don't live in Charlotte, but who knows where Monroe is and you don't want to sound like your from podunk-backwoods-ville. But who really even knows where Charlotte is? Better to go regional. And then should you put that you're married on there. I mean, won't that just attract a bunch of cougars who are looking for a married guy who is a stable guy that they can have a fling with. Putting that your married on there is practically asking to get hit on, better to say your single and 35 then people will assume something is wrong with you. The fact that you have dogs does not need to be put on there unless you have a full-on subscription to Dog Fancy magazine. Don't want to be a freak so we'd better not mention it. Speaking of a freak, are they really named after Harry Potter characters? What a giant dork. But you have to have something on there that says that you are loving toward animals. Maybe it should just be a cat with some cool topical name like Bill Clinton. If you tell people you are a pastor that will color their whole reading of the blog, better just to stick with the college degree. The first two pasttimes seem pretentious and the last one is super nerdy. Better to have some funny reference to something we all love back in the 80's even though it's not really fun anymore. Let's go with pogs and topple, that sounds funny. The worst part of all though, is putting your hopes and dreams on a bio for people to scoff at. It might as well be something that other people hope for, but that they can never accomplish, but that you are "taking steps toward." That will make them seriously envy you, which is, after all, the primary purpose of a bio, followed closely by making yourself appear witty. I think a recording contract would work nicely and maybe you should throw in other people feel guilty about not doing. Volunteering to save the environment on the weekends should do nicely. For all these reasons and more here is my new bio:

Jared Kirk
is 35 and single and lives with his cat Bill Clinton in Atlanta, GA. He is a Biomedical Engineer who enjoys pogs and topple. He is deep into negotiations for his first record deal with Sony records. He also volunteers all of his free time helping inner-city children save the world from Global Warming while learning to read.

Cool Prayer

2009-05-16T14:16:00.003-04:00

Finally, something going on in my life which is most appropriately placed on this blog and not on the turbo-super-secret blog.

Heather and I have been praying so much lately about the house upon which we have placed an offer. (I just changed that last sentence so that it didn't end with a preposition, what a nerd.) And I think we're at the place where we can simply say, "God however we can best serve you, love you and spread your Kingdom let's do that." And that is a really good place to be.

In the midst of all this praying something so cool happened. I was trying to pray for someone and I kept seeing the face of this other guy that I know. Luckily I wasn't praying in the shower! So anyway I decided that if I keep thinking about him then I'd better pray for him. I do and I decide to call him a couple hours later. I say, "hey how did your morning go."
To which he replies, "honestly, not that great. I've had a killer headache that won't go away and my wife's car isn't working right." And then on top of that he goes on to say, "I've been trying to fast, but the headache is making it almost impossible to do so." This is a guy who I consider a very consistently positive man. Talk about spiritual warfare.

So cool right? As I go on praying the next couple of days I find myself wishing that this exact experience would happen again. And I've had to let it go. Because praying for other people is one of the ways I serve them. I don't do it for kicks, I do it because Christ has changed me so that I want to serve them and I'm just walking in his footsteps. Or at least trying.

Killers Can't Be Martyrs

2009-02-08T21:53:00.003-05:00

What is Freedom? What is Liberty?
It's watching Justin Timberlake on the Grammy's without bombs going off in the background.
But what if our liberty mean not that there are no bombs, but rather, along with clothing, toys, and tech support, we have exported our explosions to far away countries.

Now I know I don't speak for everyone, but if my ability to worship any where I want to, any time during the week is bought with blood anywhere, I don't want it. I'm a believer! We are believers! If you can't worship despite a few guns in your face then you are a part of the wrong kingdom.

For me it's basically the same issue as having police or anyone carry a concealed weapon to church on Sunday morning. I was just re-reading the news articles on the shooting that happened at YWAM and then moved to New Life church in Denver. The gunman killed two people and injured two people at YWAM and then drove over to New Life Church where he shot and killed two teenage girls in a car and injured their dad. He was then confronted by a security guard and was shot and killed. No doubt he would have killed countless more had he not been killed. The big difference is between martyrs and killers. The contemporary evangelical church reveals the martyrs (mostly, because a well designed book by a contemporary christian music group) and yet we would rather kill anyone who threatens any of our freedom to worship-or live for that matter. You just can't be a martyr if you're always killing your enemies. Even in the name of "defending yourself".

Love your enemies. It's hard for us to figure out because we don't really have any enemies that we can name off the top of our heads. So what happens when your first enemy isn't some guy that ows you money and destroys your name-that would be good practice, you could work your way up... but rather the guy pointing the gun at you or your family? Can I love that guy? Robbie says I might change my mind when I have kids. Maybe, but I just don't think so. I'm already a bondservant to a master. I've got no reason to obey anyone else. Especially one so crass as to demand his allegiance with a gun.

Questions of Freedom

2009-02-04T23:44:00.000-05:00

I've got the freedom idea in my head again. I need to dig up my old intro to philosophy book from Harvard. The professor who taught the class (and wrote the book, one of the nice things about taking a class at Harvard) was a solid Christian believer. It was a wild experience.

I was thinking about a section on an american view of freedom. How did our mason-deist founding fathers think about it? How did they shape our view of it?
Which makes me wonder. When did Freedom become such a huge cultural value for persons in the first place? My stab in the dark would be the enlightenment because I don't remember it being huge in the midieval period and certainly not in the early church days. And yet it must have carried some value because it was a value in and of itself to Paul who states, "it is for freedom he has set us free." As if the value is in the thing itself.

It features prominently in the exodus theology of Israel, but not for individuals so much as for the people as a whole. But in the case of Israel the suggestion that Israel should be liberated so that she can do what she wants is laughable. It also strikes me as strange the idea that Israel should be liberated for her own sake at all although it could very well be.

So weird. I'm in love with ideas. But I am such a pragmatist. So it's easy for me to say something silly like, "God wouldn't liberate Israel for her own sake." and yet I do believe that it is better for people to have jobs than not. It is better for people to be free than to be slaves. it is better for people to have food than go hungry. I'm going to bed now.

Incorporated into the Incorruptible

2009-01-31T00:44:00.004-05:00

Sad day. I realized that the posts on nlcblog.org surpassed the number of posts on dynamiceq. Or rather http://www.jaredkirk.com/. Ha! what a self-absorbed turd I am right?

Truth be told I was more afraid there is another Jared Kirk out there who would steal the domain name. Sometimes you just have to tell yourself, "You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile."

I posted late last year about freedom, but I can't get it out of my head. I think I believe in a weird version of freedom. Because I was thinking back to my philosophy class at Harvard and we were going over different definitions of freedom: What if a guy is sitting in a room and never wants to open a door, but if he did then he would instantly die, is he really free to open the door? And other such bullcrap that never really makes sense for the real world. I don't care what you threaten to do to this (rather unfortunate) guy. Unless he is physically unable to open the door then I say he's free to do it. Maybe that's because "you do what you want."

Call me crazy but a guy holds a gun to my head and says if you eat that livermush in front of you I'll blow your brain out (which is a form of double threat because of the livermush). I think I'm still free to eat it. I just evaluate the consequences and do what I want. Everything has consequences, I'm just picking and choosing.

The cool thing about salvation is that God doesn't redefine your choices, but He does radically redefine the consequences. So what if you kill me!? Death is beaten! So torture me. Jesus' wounds were His greatest glory. They didn't disappear on his ressurection body, rather they were incorporated into the incorruptible. Cool, huh?

Isn't it ironic that the "Land of the Free" is really a collection of people enslaved to their mortgage payments and their passions? While the people of God who could experience real freedom trade it in for the false-security of a picket fence or a gun. And what do we know about guns? "All a gun does is focus an explosion in one direction" (according, once again, to Tyler Durdam) so that the person holding it won't have to suffer. So they think.

A Great Night of Worship

2008-11-17T00:27:00.007-05:00

I just got back from a student worship night. It was incredible. There were so many kids there that I didn't know. This means that, on some level, the campus student ministries are working. That feels pretty good. Although to say that I had any part in pulling it off would be a huge stretch. It was 70% Samuel, 20% Robbie, and 10% Ron. I just got everybody together. So I showed up a couple hours early and had no real responsibility. I was freaking out! What do I do? So I relaxed and worshiped. Pretty sweet. Robbie taught a great message. It was perfect for the night.

I also taught the 4th chapter of Jonah in the main service today. It was about anger; specifically anger toward God. After the message Mike Grubbs came and found me and said that he really liked it and that it was right on. That was a pretty big reassurance coming from him.

I really want to hang out with my friends this week. Spending all that time with my Dad and his friends was great in Arkansas. They definitely have better stories. But there are few things that I enjoy more in life than watching an episode of Futurama on H's couch or having him over to watch some football.

Belated Guy Fox Day

2008-11-08T00:48:00.003-05:00

Just finished going for the gold on Full Tilt Poker. I ended up right where I started because I entered a $10 midnight madness tournament. H and I also watched V for Vendetta to celebrate Guy Fox day a few days late. Really a crazy movie when you think about it because the "hero" is a terrorist. Straight up. And they released it just a few years after 9/11.

Also Harrison and I made a movie today where I use the lines, "I will straight up murder you" and "I will kill your mother and burn her and spit in the ashes and I will kick them, I will kick your mother's ashes." Reading that it sounds really terrible, but it turned out pretty funny in the end.

I voted today

2008-11-04T19:02:00.003-05:00

So I went to the polls this morning. I voted. For Jesus.

I had been thinking about doing it for a while now, and naturally it felt a bit silly when it came right down to it. But in the end it was more about me than America or Jesus. If casting a ballot is your little way of participating in the system and thinking that you have some sort of control in this life then think of this as my little way of sticking it to the man and proclaiming that I don't buy into the illusion of control.

Wow, I'm really starting to sound like a crazy person. lol. If you can't laugh at the last sentence of that last paragraph then maybe you just care to much.

So back to it. I think if we've learned anything over the last 30 years of evangelical christianity it's that the power of the empire does not mix well with the downward path of the cross.

- "We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability,"

Good line for a president. Bad line for a christian. Any president would have to make these types of decisions, but how could you make them as a christian!?!? "Dear Jesus, I know you said to love your enemies, but I'm president so there's a lot of people I'm going to have to kill. Please forgive me, The President of the United States of America."

Stickin' it to the halloween man!

2008-10-31T16:01:00.002-04:00

So Heather and I go out earlier this week to look for Halloween costumes. She thinks we should go dressed as a pair. I agree as I'm instantly thinking we can be Barack and Hilary. This turns out to be a bad idea. I have agreed to do it, but she instantly rejects my idea out of hand. We go with Plan B (her Plan A) Fred and Wilma Flinstone. Out of all the things she might have suggested, I'm thinking being Fred Flinstone is not that bad. I mean, out of all the cartoons I used to watch Fred is probably the least-gay, no-funny-business, Wilma-have-the-meal-on-the-table-when-I-get-home, kinda guy. I'd rather Heather be Betty, but that's an entirely different story and it leads us into the morally ambiguous area of cartoon adultery.

So Heather and I go out shopping for a costume. Big mistake. It turns our there was a reason that my mom just sent me out trick-or-treating in my long superman pj's because those costumes were expensive! Combined $70 for Fred and Wilma! I offer to make the Fred outfit and let her buy the Wilma one just to be nice and she declines because we both know how that was going to end. We even go to Walmart but the closest we can get, unless I'm the devil and Heather is some bizarre sexy milkmaid/little bo-peep, is to be matching bannanas for $30. Sorry, we're not buying what your selling.

What to do, what to do. Depressed and feeling like someone cheapened Halloween by making it so darned expensive (and for once it wasn't freaking Hallmark) we meandered back toward the fabric department. $16 later we've got enough fake leopard fur for two, count-em, two matching caveperson outfits! Four hours, 60 ft. of thread, and two pricked fingers later... Viola! We have costumes. I don't know who the man is, but we just stuck it to him this Halloween. Also, Heather accidentally cut mine so short it makes Britney Spears look modest.

The Majestic

2008-10-30T10:52:00.002-04:00

So after poker last night at Mark's house I went and watched the Majestic(Jim Carey, 2001) for the first time. In addition to being almost technically perfect in the way it advances a pretty complicated plot, it was a beautiful story of redemption. Unfortunately it was self-redemption or maybe it transcended that to self-sacrifice (gone wrong). At first I didn't like the big culmination monologue because I thought it was weak, but I think I excused it because it added some realism. I mean, who stands up in front of a congressional committee and delivers a performance like Jack Nicholson on the jury stand in A Few Good Men. (talk about mixing metaphors... or something)

Anyway, I couldn't help but watch it through the eyes of my last couple of posts though. Ultimately what gave meaning to the sacrifice of all the soldiers who gave their lives in WWII was the freedom to say whatever you wanted even if it contradicted the government. Is that worth giving your life for? I say yes, especially on behalf of others. Is that worth killing someone for? I don't know about that one...

The letter that the real Luke Trimble wrote to his fiance that was passed along to Peter read like this: "When bullies rise up, the rest of us have to beat them back down, whatever the cost. That's a simple idea I suppose, but one worth giving everything for." Really... That's it? That sounds like it is in direct contradiction with something someone else someone said: "Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."

The Mystery of Morgan and Brotha Fred

2008-10-28T14:58:00.005-04:00

yeah so last night I totally bought in to a 27 person $5 sit-and-go tournament on Full Tilt Poker. I won first place and pulled down $54! Not to shabby for an hours worth of work.

I stayed in last night and watched the world series game at home by myself. Heather doesn't like being left alone after she goes to bed (who can blame her!) and so I sat there by myself and rather enjoyed it. Those of you who know me know that I can't stand to be alone, so this was a pretty big deal for me. To be content with myself. I went to bed early, as soon as Letterman started. And trodged up to bed slowly, lying down with as little grace as possible, ensuring that Heather would know I was there. As I lay down my head I wondered if Morgan Fogerty and Brotha Fred are secretly in love with each other. Although I am sure that many other before me have pondered this same mystery, I resolved this fact quite unknowable and fell asleep peacefully.

On Freedom and Comfort

2008-10-27T13:04:00.006-04:00

I have been thinking increasingly about Freedom over the past couple of weeks.

I think the general perception exists in America that wars fought overseas protect the freedoms of Americans. Or even that having a standing military with soldiers ensures our freedom at home.

This makes a great deal of sense until I thought about this: Say the US soldiers don't exist and an evil power over-runs the USA. Can that power mandate that no worshipping of any kind take place? Yes. Can they keep you from worshipping Jesus Christ? ...Well, the closest they can come is to take your life, but assuming they are successful then you die and are raised with Christ and continue worshipping Him (specifically, now for His triumph over death!). So in this sense you are always free to worship Christ. No one can take this from you.

But they do take something from us in this scenario, don't they? What is it?? The ability to worship in comfort.

When you frame it like that, killing for comfort hardly seems justifiable. But you remember that it was for freedom that Christ set us free. And you turn your thoughts to the detestable, beautiful, bloody cross. And you think to yourself:

"Hasn't enough blood already been shed for freedom?"

I would rather die than take your life - Derek Webb

2008-10-27T12:43:00.003-04:00

Listening to Derrek Webb again. Not the new stuff, just Mockingbird.

I've recently been challenged by reading Jesus for President. Especially the stuff about loving our enemies. Maybe it's just the logic of it, but I can't see Christians killing anyone, ever and possibly sending them to hell. And to say, "well, it's sanctioned by the state." really doesn't make much more sense. To say that the powers of the world condone it so, in this particular case, God makes an exception seems very strange.

Taking a life is in effect saying, "This person is beyond the reach of God's grace. They cannot ever be redeemed. We must stop their evil sooner rather than later." Hmm.

In a related note America basically just declared war on Syria. Not officially of course, but we did conduct military operations in their country.

Also this is getting long, so my post on freedom will be split.

Church in the Parking Lot

2008-10-14T14:10:00.004-04:00

This Sunday started off normal. I showed up a little before eight to open up the student center and get some stuff ready before Samuel and the band showed. I flicked the lights on, got the slides ready, the band started rehearsing. I even had an extra minute to myself to prepare for the teaching before the band finished practice. So as I'm going to find Samuel to begin the service Kevin Kennedy walks in and says, "I'm really sorry but I need to borrow your soundboard."

"Pardon me. You must have said something else because I'm quite sure you don't need to just 'borrow a sound board' right as service is starting." But, because living with Heather has made me a better man, I thought this last statement instead of saying it.

Turns out the soundboard in the main auditorium went out just a minute or two before service. But as Kevin was coming to perform and emergency soundboard-ectomy they decided to just relocate the entire main service into the youth room. Sooooo, we had youth in the parking lot. Then in the first three rows of the main auditorium. Wooo!

It was fun, if stressful. All in all, we had service and I can't believe how well the adult volunteers pulled it off. The youth was never a problem... we just roll like that. Ha!

The Perfect Storm

2008-09-26T22:30:00.003-04:00

Matt Miller inspired me to post so here it is. It's been like 6 months. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

I've got a special event tomorrow called NLC Gladiators for HS and MS students. There is a serious storm battering Charlotte, and there is no gas left in the city (that's not an exageration for those of you in SoFla... all the pumps are empty), and there's a chance they won't let us onto the city fields we rented for the event, and I'm not worried in the least. I have prayed and fasted and finally feel ready for an event that I planned. Not that I have everything done for tomorrow, I just sense God in this thing.

It wasn't even my idea. It was birthed by the Holy Spirit in a HS senior who took up a sermon challenge to grow by serving. All I did was say "Ok". We've worked really hard and I think God will do what only He does.

I hardly ever know what that is, but I'm banking on Him this weekend and that feels pretty good. Not that I'm super spiritual, but when your done with your stuff, your done. Nothing to do but wait for God to show up.

Basically what I'm saying is if you are reading this post please pray.

Where did the right side of my blog go?

2008-04-24T15:15:00.001-04:00

The right side of my blog is having a stroke.
Lay off the cholesterol Blog!!

On Success

2008-03-27T21:52:00.003-04:00

I can't quite figure out what success looks like for me. This is a very dangerous place to be. I was talkin to H about this and what success was for him and in the conversation I realized that I had no idea for myself. I feel that the pre-defined avenues for success are shallow. I am a Christian and a pastor so success for me is a big church and lots of conference speaking. Maybe a book where I take one verse of scripture out of context and build in into one huge unscriptural theme. The prayer of Jabez is taken, and so are lions, I'm considering something with goats, but I'm afraid it won't be catchy enough. Anyway, I know that if I were to accomplish the tasks I would be viewed as a success all while being an enormous failure of a man. That would be enough to push me over the edge.

You want to feel the real tension in my soul, though? I want to be big. Bigger than anyone you've ever even heard of. Second grade kids will walk around the playground saying, "my dad is more like Jared Kirk than your dad is." I want to be so big that people actually forget the names of the founding fathers. I want to be so big that I make Oprah, Ghandi, and Martin Luther seem like small time. I want to be so big they make movies about people that used to know my sister. But I have two problems. One, I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm just not that special. And two, I think it is really wrong to want to be that important. I end up feeling awful all the time.

I don't want to fulfill my potential. You can do that and still be a loser.
I don't want to be a conference speaker, the majority of whom are losers.
I want to be me.

**left Robbie McLaughlin out of the list in the last post and he called me on it. Oops.

D.I.S.C. and a hypnotic teaching

2008-03-18T15:58:00.005-04:00

Went to the staff retreat at Michelle and Jay's home yesterday. It was March 17th and colder than I expected so I spent half the day shivering despite the roaring fake fire in the fireplace of the Great Room. Even fake fire, which is still "fire" isn't as good at the original. I guess that's just how the universe is... Everyone on the staff was there: Todd, Mark, Dan, Rob K., Rene', H, Doug, Kathy, Cathy, Susan Socha, Steve J., Michelle J., Mike Grubbs, and I. We went through our DISC assessments and by the time we got to mine (I was last) I was so tired I was angry that I had to do it. Sitting around listening to people talk about themselves for 8 hours is just about the worst torture I can think of. I suppose it was good team building, but it was a price I would rather not pay.

I also taught this weekend. It went pretty well. Far and away the worst parts were an attempt at using the CMS code of conduct for humor and Mark's suggestion that I act like a hypnotist during the last segment. The latter is definitely one of those things where you say, "I can't believe that sounded like a good idea at the time!!!"

Ballantyne's attendance was 235 the week before Easter.

A Lecture, A Man, The Beginning of the World

2008-02-25T22:49:00.004-05:00

This past week I went to a lecture by Frances Collins, head of the Human Genome Project and author of "Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief". It was surprisingly light. The lecture itself was non-technical in nature and even included a clip from his appearance on the Colbert Report. He basically argued in favor of theistic evolution. I got the tickets from Leighton Ford and got to meet him on Wednesday night. He was warm and totally present, but when he is done with a conversation, he is done with a conversation... All in all, I suppose this is not a bad way to be. You give people attention when you are with them and everyone is clear about what is going on. Just between you and me (and every person in the world with internet access) I was really hoping to sit with him at the lecture, but it didn't pan out.

As for the theistic evolution, I guess I am not fundamentally opposed to this view. My personal view is that I don't know what happened. The Genesis account is unbelievably poetic and it would not surprise me one bit if it didn't refer to a seven day creation. Whereas on the other hand, the Isrealites sure thought it was a seven day period. For what it is worth, I think it is possible that the Universe is young but was necessarily created with age or that the earth is much older and theistic evolution is certainly a possibility, although in general I don't think the time-line is quite right for evolution (i.e. - the Cambrian Explosion). This does not make good teaching material.

[]

2008-02-11T00:31:00.000-05:00

closer, but the search button keeps reading 'buscar' and I can't get the top bar to say anything besides minyx. and i don't even know what that means...

La plantilla de mi blog esta en Espanol!!!

2008-02-11T00:01:00.000-05:00

Tengo una pregunta. Porque esta mi blog en espanol?!?!!?
Es mi culpa, pero no tengo el tiempo para fijar el problema.
Cuando la pagina del internet era en espanol debo haber notado.
Possiblemente yo puedo cambiar la platilla asi esta en ingles pero no estoy seguro.
"Que sera, sera" si?

From Fear Afar

2008-02-10T23:08:00.002-05:00

Oh sweet release
from fear afar, so I've come
flitting eyes, glancing back
now setting my face forward
into blinding, burning light
so far I've come, from fear afar

Ballantyne Launch weekend

2008-02-10T22:55:00.000-05:00

Today was the launch of the first campus of Next Level Church. We also went to three services at the Matthews campus: 9, 10:15, & 11:3o. Middle school got moved back to 9:00 in order to allow more adults on campus. We had a total of 35 in Middle School which is not bad, but could be seen as a step back. It would be tempting except that I know that it played a big role in the largest Matthews sunday attendance ever. I think there were about 935 people that were impacted through the ministry of Next Level this Sunday and that is pretty cool. And maybe even cooler is that we have like 20 life groups that are bursting at the seams with people.

Mark asked this week about where I saw myself in 5 or 10 years... "beats me." Maybe right here. Maybe not.

I was really proud of Steve Janssen today (in a non-condescending sort of way). He had a handful of students in there and he was casting vision and I think they are starting to understand his humor a little more. And perhaps a bit selfishly I felt a huge sense of relief that he was doing a great job and I could rely on him to make Ballanyne go so that it wouldn't be my beast to care for. In the future I know those guys won't all come from me, but for my sake I think it would be much better if many of them came through an intern program that Ron and I are working on putting together.

Hitting the slopes on MLKJr. Day

2008-01-25T13:41:00.002-05:00

This past weekend was Martin Luther King Jr. weekend and I had been trying to convince everyone I know to go snowboarding with me on Monday. I wanted to just get up early and go and then drive back late that night, but no one was up for it. When Monday morning rolled around, however, Heather woke me up at 9am and was like, "you want to go skiing?" So we hit the road. After an unplanned detour, we got to Hawk's Nest at about 1:30pm just in time for them to run out of all ski's and boards for rent. So we went back down the mountain and found a rental place that was actually cheaper than the resort and headed back up.
It was awesome. Heather was actually tearing it up pretty good and I was having a blast. The funny thing was that we only skiid for a couple of hours before hitting up a Sagebrush steakhouse and hitting the road back home and I didn't care at all. It was one of the best days I've ever had. I know Heather did it just for me because she has school work and lesson plans to do and she put it all on hold.

Church Shot Glass Episode

2008-01-13T20:29:00.001-05:00

Click here to read about the church shot glass story that was on the front page of www.foxnews.com. That's right. The National Fox News.

Contact Me

2008-01-12T16:08:00.000-05:00

If you need to get a hold of me please email jared.kirk@gmail.com

My websites are:
www.JaredKirk.com
www.nextlevelstudents.org
www.nextlevelchurch.org

A Great Weekend

2008-01-07T00:20:00.000-05:00

There's no reason for me to be up here right now. I'm really tired so this isn't making any sense. Two students checked off that they committed their life to Christ last night at SNL! It was definitely a God thing because I taught about honoring our parents. Go figure...
Of all the superficial things I thought was so important that was the real success last night. As for today... things felt good except in the venue. I need to remember my napkin with all my notes on it. Really weird though: I was really worried about Ballantyne, but we have a bad weekend and all of the sudden I'm not worried any more. Not to overspiritualize it but once you give up on in and place the outcome in God's hands you've got no worries. But then again I'm not the Ballantyne campus pastor :)

First SNL back from break

2008-01-05T22:47:00.000-05:00

I got up early and spent the majority of the day preparing for SNL. I wrote and put slides together, made notes and went into the office, prayed and listened to music. It's not a terrible day. When it actually came time for SNL all sorts of people showed up: regulars, new friends of regulars, old-school attenders. And they all showed up at the same time. When it was all said and done there were 48 people there tonight. Isn't that crazy? It is truly terrifying to put the result of your efforts in God's hands, but it's the only place for it. My message was about honoring your parents which is tough, but the students seemed to identify with it and I think God used it despite my lack of fluency. Afterwards went over to Marks for some dinner, football, and homemade ice-cream. A sweet ending to a sweet day.

I am writing right now from my bed with Heather fast asleep next to me. I gotta say, it feels great. With all the crap I've put her through and all the rediculous self-serving behaviour we've both been guilty of it's amazing that we enjoy each other so fully when it's just the two of us together. Oops, she just woke up and gave me the evil eye before she rolled over! I really don't know how people in a marriage survive without God's help. Maybe that's it... maybe they just survive instead of moving past the selfishness that destroys intimacy on to the richness of really redeemed, renewed relationship. Heather just shushed the humidifier after it bubbled up... I think she's pretty out of it.

Leadership at its most mundane

2008-01-03T21:55:00.000-05:00

I stayed up until 1:30am writing last night. I flirted with fabrication, but in the end I settled on enhanced truth. The details were sharper than pure fiction. Because of the writing I ended up at work late. Today was a day of grinding out the details. It was leadership at its most mundane: notes, phone calls, notes, more notes. On the exciting side, Ballantyne seems truly imminant now and barring a damaging last second "abort" it is reality. For the most part I feel too mired in the details of communication, copy, branding, and technical stuff to get excited, but today I felt the surge of anticipation...

Poker and Smokes

2008-01-02T22:45:00.000-05:00

Played Poker at Mark's tonight. It was me, Mark, H, Dan, Matt Allen, Matt Humphries, J-Mo, Stuart, and somebody. I lost again. This has got to be some sort of record. Oh well, I told myself I was playing for the fun and if I lost I lost. But seriously, 6 months straight? On the plus side I smoked a Cuban Hoya de Monterey that Mark gave me. It tasted so strongly the smoke should have been brown and you could almost smell the gritty hands of whoever rolled it 90 miles South of Key West. It was smooth until about half way through when it got tangy and punched me in the stomach.

Also, I've been thinking that hairstyles change so often that eventually a decade will match up with the type of hair a person has. This doesn't look like my decade. 2010's aren't looking good either.

Happy New Year... I Invented A New Acronym

2008-01-02T10:26:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year Self! I managed to start off 2008 in a royal funk because I was angry at Heather but couldn't bring myself to tell her. So I just simmered and tried to sleep it away for two days. Needless to say this was a bad plan.
In the midst of all this I did manage to play a great round of golf at Stonecrest with my Father-in-Law Ken. It was about 58 degrees on January 1. Not bad at all!

I'm back at work now, which I was seriously dreading, but now that I'm back I'm rather enjoying the pace. This morning I didn't even set up my laptop before I was summoned for a meeting to discuss all the things we had corporately neglected over the past two weeks. So, I grab a huge cup of singed coffee, my huge planner, and an atrophied brain, in a feudal attempt to catch back up. I have sixty emails in my inbox which includes no spam so-because of my irrational fear of checking old messages both electronic and voice-those 60 messages will continue to sit in my inbox for ALAP.

Christmas Day 2007

2007-12-26T11:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Christmas Day. Heather and I flew down to Mobile to be with Jessi, Mom, and Dad on the 23rd. Christmas morning was fun mostly because I cared so much less about the presents than in previous years. Dad cooked thick bacon and runny eggs. For the remainder of the day we sat around the house doing a thousand little things but nothing in particular. We watched all three "Bourne" movies, during which I discovered my favorite present was actually a book, given by my Mom: Michael Palin Diaries 1969-1979. Wow. I can't explain exactly what I find so facinating about it. I know there is an aspect of voyuer, but beyond that it's hard to say.

I'm thinking now 5 minutes later that perhaps I just don't want to say... Constantly as I read I wish I were him. I know it's never truly better, but it always appears that way...

The Spirit Filled Teacher

2007-12-15T21:05:00.000-05:00

So I just got done with SNL tonight. It was a good time. Maybe I'm just being self-indulgent, but I am really starting to think that when I respond to God, He responds to my response. That sounds stupid and convoluted, but what I mean is this: God is always there reaching out to me, desiring for me to desire Him. So the initiative is His. But recently, more so than ever in the past, I have found myself responding to Him and honestly seeking to be filled, equiped, and enabled by His Spirit to do what He has called me to do. I also find myself seeking purity of life so that I can fulfill His mission for me. And He has been honoring my response, especially when it comes to preaching His word. The correlation is almost eerie.

I generally hate when people write stuff like this because I am so cynical. But then it happens to me and I sound like a Christian author all of the sudden. I don't know. I do know that sometimes God blesses very impure people, pastors having affairs, televangelists... Or maybe it is just that we still don't have eyes to see what God's blessing really looks like. Whatever it looks like I felt like I am taking steps toward it. And that is releasing me to let God deal with the results however he chooses, because as for me, I am doing what God is asking of me. What else is there, right?

Nobel the tragically un-tragic millionaire

2007-10-24T15:03:00.000-04:00

I just posted about Alfred Nobel on one of my other blogs. I wrote about how he changed his legacy by donating his huge fortune to establish the Nobel Prizes.

The deal is though, that he really isn't a tragic figure because he had lots of money. Could you imagine how it would be different if he had invented dynamite, gotten insanely rich, and then blown all of his money on hookers and blow before he could ever establish the Nobel Prizes. He would still be infamous. I don't really have much of a point in all of this except to point out the power that money has.

It doesn't have any of the power that matters, but it does have all the power we care about. Primarily the power to change how we are perceived. And then of course the power to get us what we want. Maybe this is one huge reason why people want money so bad: you don't have to be who you really are.

Beavers! Faith! Jackalopes!

2007-10-19T22:38:00.000-04:00

So I found the creator of connection power. I refrained from punching him in the nose for two reasons. 1.) It didn't seem right and more importantly 2.) The guy was named Dominic and I'm pretty sure he could take me with both arms tied behind his back. Not that he is a physically intimidating man, but he is named Dominic and he talks funny like he has ties to the mob.
All of this happened at Catalyst which I highly recommend that NO ONE EVER ATTEND, EVER. It was a great way to take all of our money. Way to go John Maxwell! Ultimately he is the one who is really getting paid here. I had such a terrible time he should take me out on his yacht. He owes me personally, it was that bad.

So the other day I got this idea in my brain about the theology of speeding, you know like in a car? And I can't stop thinking about it in the evenings when nothing of importance whatsoever is going on. Not that it is about speeding or the theology of it so much as the fact that this is a sin that every one will readily admit to. It has to give you some insight into people's minds. If you think that I'm overthinking it, of course I am, but that's not what this is about. I'm just looking for a window into people's souls here is that so bad? HUH?
I had another idea that was similar in concept to the speeding thing but I have since forgotten it. Maybe I should write a piece on beavers, faith, and jackalopes. It makes sense if you're me. Maybe someday you'll understand too. That just reminded me of the beaver hunt that my wife and I went on that one time. I'm not being stupid, we really went on this nature program and it is so funny to think that we did that now. HA! stupid beavers don't exist to begin with.
This also reminds me of the talking moose head in that dumb restaurant in Atlanta. And the Loafing Leprechaun which was the only saving grace of the whole Catalyst event. I am pretty sure that all of these things are connected, if only I could figure out how...
Bye.

Ed Stetzer at Mountain Lake

2007-02-26T16:36:00.000-05:00

I'm at the church planting conference at Mountain Lake Church in GA. Blah. The bad part about it is that it is a church conference. If you don't know what I'm talking about just try attending one. How big is your church? How big is your church? You don't look young and cool, are you sure your a church planter? Can I ride your coattails mr. speaker? Please, please, please, can I? can I? can I?

The good part is that I am here with my student ministry leadership team. They are the absolute best. I love these guys. This gives a chance to talk about all kinds of stuff that we often forget about simply because we get wrapped up in the challenge of doing every Sunday service.

I was writing here because Ed Stetzer is speaking and I was really bored. He keeps dropping these nuggets of wisdom though. There is indeed wisdom there. Right now I am practicing the art of listening for God in people that I don't necessarily expect to hear God in. It is working. It is as hard for me at a conference as it is in a Life Group to hear God in students that I don't match up with personallity-wise... If you know what I mean.

My computer is dying now so I will post soon. I love you all. Peace Out.

Worth & Dignity

2006-10-23T16:00:00.000-04:00

I am worth so much more than I thought I was. It is a very scary thought when you start filtering all of your conversations throught the filter: Is this person treating me with the respect and dignity worthy of a child of God? It's not that you always have to claim that dignity or respect, in fact with our dealings with everyone it is often beneficial to lay those feelings aside. However, you can only lay those feelings aside when you have them. Does that make any sort of sense? I hope it does.

Perhaps an example. Two people come up to me and say "You're so stupid." I can do one of three things: 1.) I tell myself, "Well, I probably deserved that." when the reality is that no one deserves to be treated like that because of the dignity that God puts into us. In this case nothing beneficial happens. 2.) I can recognize that the person violated my dignity and respect, but choose to turn the other cheek. That doesn't mean that you don't say anything about it, but you have to truly forgive. 3.) Especially with believers you should confront that person in love. I mean should we not judge amongst ourselves as believers?

I think that option 2. most often happens in interactions outside the church and that option 3. most often happens within the body of believers although there are no hard and fast rules. Number one happens when we have no self-worth, which is a common problem especially in contemporary evengelicalism. I affirm that, yes, we are sinners saved by grace, and that we have no worth or merit of our own. But that does NOT mean that we have no worth or merit. We have it because God has granted it to us, and in that fact we must stay anchored.

I am worth so much more than I thought I was.

Coming Out of the Closet

2006-09-11T10:37:00.000-04:00

Next Level Church had our first weekend at two services this past Sunday. Not so for the student ministry. We had one service for both MS and HS at 11:00am. Not that this was a bad thing. We had 66 students which is an all time high for us, but what was strange was that last week we had 59 students, but this week we had at least 12 visitors. Our total attendace number was around 86, but only 13 or so of the difference was leaders and the rest were parents. The total church attendance for both services was 556, which is just 100 over last week.

If you are at this point greatly confused about what happened this weekend, welcome to the club! Suffice it to say that the student team doesn't exactly have a great handle on what God has done this past weekend, but is that really any surprise? Actually, we should probably repent from ever thinking that we totally understand what God is doing in our world. I am so wary of saying to people, "Well, God has been blessing our attempts to care for and love the students that he sends us," because, really we don't know that! What if God is caring for students and loving them at NLC despite our attempts to wreck it. My real problem is that I am a closet mystic.

A mystic, you see, rarely makes a great leader. They usually make great writers and great visionaries, but there exists within a hesitancy to claim a very clear distinction in anything in the world. I usually just push this tendency down within myself, but it constantly nags at me. And what parents want to hear is definitely not, "Well, we're not real sure what God is doing here... It's just so hard to tell." Please don't peg me as a pessimist, because we have a spiritual obligation to optimism, but a fallen obligation to pessimism. I am a realist to the extent that what is real can be known by fallen people.

God is Doing Great Things

2006-08-31T14:48:00.000-04:00

This past Sunday our attendance in the Student Ministry was 63. That would be 10 leaders and 53 students, not a bad ratio. Then on Tuesday we had our first real S.M. Team meeting and their were five of us there at 2:00pm:

Cody: Band/Worship Leader
Kirsten: The Filter/Creative Guru
AJ: Sunday Morning Coordinator
Ron: Connection Groups (although since Tues. he has promoted himself by finding his own replacement. Yaaay!)
Me: Team Coordinator/Teaching

A year ago, I never could have imagined how we would get to this point. My only suspicion is that God is doing something far beyond myself because I can tell you with certainty that I did not do anything to bring this about. Last Tuesday night in a Life Group this kid Evan sat around and asked L.D. questions for 30min. because he wanted to make sure that he was saved. That is the kind of thing that God is doing and the kind of thing that I pray he continues to do!

A Look Back

2006-08-30T15:51:00.000-04:00

Here are the links to three posts that I did a while back that I feel have some bearing on the present discussion. They are relatively short.

Sin Overload
Sin Overload pt. 2 Know Your Nature
Sin Overload pt. 3 Grateful for Grace

I'm may be Sexist, But My Dentist is Crazy!

2006-07-11T23:59:00.000-04:00

When I was in my junior year of college at the University of Miami my mother set up a dentist appointment for me. There are some things that moms just keep doing no matter how old, or capable, or incapable you are and setting up dentist appointments happens to be one of those things for my mom. Laundary also happens to be one of those things, so I definitely scored in the mom department growing up.

We used the same dentist from the time I was two until I was twenty. The guy was as old as dirt, and I honestly have no idea why he retired because he never actually did anything. The cranky ladies in nurse scrubs would clean, x-ray, and pick-at, and after all of that was done the dentist would just come in and count my teeth and tell me to floss more often. It got to the point where when he would come into the little room, before he could talk I would just say "28 and I promise to floss every day for a year." We liked him though, because he was very nice and he didn't poke too hard.

But he did retire. Nowadays, he's probably doing charity work in Uganda teaching children to count their teeth and floss or something. So my mom had to find a new dentist. This is a big deal. Poke her too much and there is no way she is coming back. Poke her too little and she gets suspicious. Mere mortals have no chance of pleasing her in this regard. So, since we had to find a new dentist we decided "Why not try the one closest to the house?" If things do happen to work out, you get the added bonus of close proximity.

So, mom set up the appointment and I headed over to the office. The dentist was a woman. "Aren't you supposed to be in prenatal care or OB-GYN or something?" I asked innocently. O.k. I didn't ask it, but I did think it because, seriously, when is the last time you met a female dentist. It was like walking into the oval office to meet the next president only to find that it's a mexican lesbian with a swastika tattooed on her forehead. I was that surprised.

After the initial shock had worn off, I thought I had hit the jackpot. This is going to be the softest, most gentle dentist visit ever. How naive I was. Let's just say that mexican lesbians don't get to be president without playing some softball in flannel.

The visit started off nice enough. She used her feminine wiles to put me at ease (no, I don't know what 'feminine wiles' are) and she was being extraordinarily gentle. But then the very feminine force that was so comforting was twisted, manipulated, dragged into it's darkest realm by a lullaby of 50 cent's "In da Club" on her cell phone. The same force that compelled her to put me at ease and be gentle, apparently also compelled her to answer the call from her boyfriend with one hand still in my mouth! She talked to him for twenty minutes on her ear piece while I listened, watched, and was worked on in disbelief.

Why didn't I ask her to hang-up the damn phone? To this day I have no idea. Not usually one to run from conflict (understatement of the century) I just sat there and took it. And you better believe her performance suffered. I mean, I multi-task at my job. Sometimes I'll even compose an email while talking to someone on the phone, but when I do it, I don't have sharp, pointy, metal objects in someone's mouth! Just writing this is making me angry all over again.

People are so funny. Me because I just sat there, and her because, well, she's crazy.

Ozone, PSA's, and Pornography

2006-07-10T22:39:00.000-04:00

Every registered radio station in the country has to broadcast a certain amount of public service announcements every week. It doesn't matter when you air them, as long as you fulfill the time requirements. So, like most secular stations, 106.5 The End, Charlotte, NC broadcasts all of its PSA's at the same time every week... Sunday morning.

This is important because it explains why, at 7:30am on Sunday morning on my way to church, I was listening to an extended explanation of the Air Quality Warning System in Charlotte. That particular Sunday happened to be a "yellow" day, which I suppose explains why we didn't see any young children, the elderly, or those with respiratory disorders at church. I'm just glad it wasn't a "red" day. Or even worse, a "purple" day; it's hard to build community when everyone is wearing NIOSH approved respirators...

So I'm thinking about the Air Quality Warning System and the radio expert lady says that if children grow up with poor air quality, i.e. high ozone content, then they have reduced lung function as adults. Like maybe only 75% or something! She went on to say that all the crap that people put into their lungs permanently diminishes their capacity to breathe. Scary. I wondered what she would say about my cigar smoking, but then remembered that I didn't smoke cigars when I was a little kid, so I felt better. Then I imagined what I would have looked like at age two, in diapers, with a big stogie hanging out of my mouth. Suck on that radio expert lady!

Normally at 7:30 in the morning, I am too tired to think, but this particular Sunday I treated myself to a #1 at McDonalds and was therefore hyped up on all kinds of sugar, carbs, caffeine and fat. And it was in this state that a very disturbing thought occurred to me. I wondered what kind of irreversible damage I had already done to myself. I knew that my Grandfather had died at age fifty of a heart attack, and there I was eating McDonalds. (They don't call it a Mac-attack for nothing, you know.) I had re-injured my shoulder in a belly-flop contest just the other day reminding me, in a rediculous way, how fragile the human body can be. And I must admit that I felt the familiar twinge of guilt that comes when I realize that I am not as quick mentally as I was as a child because of the drugs I chose to use.

After I was done thinking all of that in the span of just a few seconds a thought washed over me like a January wave. I knew what my great pollution had been. Pornography. And the air it polluted was a pure love, a deep intimacy, a true knowledge of another person. What if my capacity to love had been permanently diminished? The answer to this question was a hundred times scarier than heart-disease, or injury, or even dementia.

Perhaps God wants to heal me, perhaps he does not. I don't pretend to know what He is up to with me, nor do I try to guess. I do know I want to be healed. I want to be able to love like I am loved. I want to be able to actually believe for once that my wife and my friends and my savior actually like me the way that I am. I want to like me the way I am. I want to finish a Sunday service and not be depressed because it wasn't better. I want God to be happy with me. I want God to fix me.

The air pollution lady thought that we needed to clean up our act in order to be healthy. We need cleaner cars and cleaner industries. Less CFC's and DDT's and PCP's and GOP's. But there is one fatal flaw in her solution. She is thinking too small. What if instead of cleaner air, we could find a way for people not to need air at all...

The bible says that we sin when our own evil desires are stirred up in us and then we are dragged away and enticed. Satan can't tempt you with something you don't already desire. And I desire sex. Lots and lots of hot sex. And I never really questioned this desire. I mean, why would I, until I thought of something. The bible says that in heaven we won't be married, but we will be like the angels. I have always assumed that this meant that the needs that marriage is designed to meet on the earth will be met. Now the desire is to breathe, but the need is oxygen. The desire is sex, but the need is true intimacy. Someday I will no longer have the desire to have sex at all and I cannot wait for that day.

I think that is sad. Should I feel like this? I think my desperation has actually brought me a little bit of perspective. Can you imagine not having to rely on the imperfect conduits of love called people to fulfill your need for love and community and approval. I want so desperately for God to be pleased with me, but I cannot bring myself to believe that He is already so. I know it but I can't obtain it. Can't claim it. Certainly can't live it. What is it that hijacks this certainty on its way from my mind to my heart? I have no peace without it.

A moment of clarity. Clarity. A woman on a computer screen never says no. Is never tired. Never has a headache. Because she is not a woman. She is less real than an idol made of stone or wood that you could at least feel and touch. An idol you could adore. She is an idol that you are free to despise as long as you are drawn back eventually. All the girls in ever girly magazine can't make me feel any less alone. Or any more in control. I plead with God every day to take this desire out of me, but He won't yet. He can't yet. I want to tell Him what I think about that, but I'll save my breath for confession. There will still be plenty of confession. The truth is I can't undo what I've done and I can't un-see what I've seen. The mind has no delete button.

Amber, Will You Marry Me

2006-06-15T13:21:00.000-04:00

I was walking along the beach a few days ago when suddenly everything female kicked into high gear. The energy was palpable. There was a collective female conciousness thinking Aww, how sweet. The men, meanwhile, were thinking No, I will not marry you. And don't call me Amber! The pilot of the plane thought to himself, Wow, it's pretty windy today. And the sign on the back of the plane reading "Amber will you marry me?" didn't think anything, it just flapped there. I realized that although this was a pretty nice day for most of us, this was either the best day or the worst day of Amber's life. It was also, the best or worst day of whoever hired the plane.
Later that day it rained pretty hard and I thought about the place in the Bible where it says, "The rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous." Or in the Jared Paraphrase version, "God is gracious to everyone on some level, and although God can change something as big as the weather, He may have more important things to worry about than whether or not you get wet."
I think it is possible that some of the bigger events in life, especially Acts of God type of stuff, are only meant for a few people. The rest of us experience it in the best way we can in our situation. God is more interested in our response to the tsunami, than whether or not we feel it was right for him to do to us. I wonder if a lot of life is like the a sign in the sky. It is totally earth shattering news to someone, and will affect them profoundly, but we just see it and go on with our day. It's not bad that we don't care, we're not meant to. But lets not forget that God is at work all around us. Screw that, it's too cliche... God is at work. Sometimes around us. Sometimes in us. So keep your eyes peeled.

On Joy, Ecstacy, Anguish, and Sorrow:

2006-05-07T18:32:00.000-04:00

I am back into writing. I am not back into writing here, although this post would seem to suggest otherwise. I am back into writing for the joy, and anguish, and sorrow, and ecstacy of writing. When part of your job description includes writing, it can easily become tedious. Of course, in my line of work you are allowed quite a bit of lattitude to create and discover, but still. For a novice like myself, one column a month, and one creative welcome a month, really do me in. Not that I sit and craft a column for a month (I usually stew on it and then crap it out in about 4 hours) it is just that when I don't write for myself and at my own pace, I get cranky. Everybody does.

I am writing again and allowing myself the freedom to go wherever my mind takes me. I write memories, and bad poetry. I explore great similies, and I get lost in great metaphors. I don't do fiction that I know of. I love fiction, but "real life" is so interesting to me. I say "real life," because great fiction is its own real life. So I basically ended up saying nothing at all. Hooray for me.

This sounds enormously egotistical to me, but I rediscovered flashes of my own greatness. Or more precisely I rediscovered God's gifting in me. Occasionally, I'll pull out an old notebook and think to myself, "God, was that me? It couldn't have been, because there is no way I could do that now." But, I find time and again that if I give myself time and space to breath in God, he works through me. I can't force Him, anymore that you can force great writing. But being in the moment provides a good launching pad for your own exploration. God has given me the ability to write well, but I have left it undeveloped and ignored.

It is sad to me that I am worried now about what others will think of me. When you write you are exposed and even writing this junk, I am worried about the judgement of an online community. I gain such worth from others' approval. It is my makeup. The way I was designed and created. If I don't hear my own critic and wrestle him down, I never write. So I wrote online tonight. I don't really read my own blog, so I never have to worry about rediscovering it in some old notebook a year from now and thinking to myself how silly I was. Or worse, how right I was. Thankyou so much for listening. Mel, I appreciate you most of all.

Here She Is!!!

2006-02-23T15:53:00.000-05:00

I have a wife

2006-02-18T21:35:00.000-05:00

I have a wife. Her name is Heather. She is beautiful. Soon I will post a picture of her because, normally, when someone says, "Oh, so and so is soooo beautiful," but they don't post a picture it is because what they really mean is: "Oh, so and so is soooo beautiful ([whisper] in my eyes)." So just so you don't all think that she is secretly ugly, I will be forced to share her with you on the internet. I will do this Monday. If I don't do it by the end of the week, assume it safe to say that she really is secretly ugly.

(Don't worry Heather... I'll post the picture.)

Stormy, Pluto, and Spikey

2005-11-01T14:37:00.000-05:00

I used to have a Fox Terrier named Stormy, so named by my father, because we got her during "Desert Storm." Come to think of it, my dad named every single pet we ever owned: Stormy, Beezer, Katie, Goldie, Kate, Franklin, and even Spikey the cockatiel. I realized with the last animal, Kate, that my dad got to name her because he was the one who didn't want her. So, for fear of alienating him, my mom let him name the new puppy. What I have come to realize is this: My father really did want every pet we ever owned. He loves all kinds of animals. He has just been pretending that he doesn't want them all these years so that he gets to name them! What a rip-off!

But back to Stormy. Stormy was my Fox Terrier and she never bit or even snapped at a person. She was a terrible watchdog because, when it came to burglars, she would rather use her tongue than her teeth. When it came to other dogs, however, let's just say that Stormy never learned how to "play nice." She almost killed our neighbor's poodle, and pound-for-pound she was the best fighting dog that ever lived. Unfortunately, she only weighed fifteen pounds.

One day our friend's German Shorthaired Pointer (read: larger than a Doberman) swam into our backyard because that's what hunting dogs named Pluto do, they swim into your yard. I happened to be in the yard at the time so I glanced at Stormy just long enough to see the fire already burning in her eyes. Her heckles raised and her lips drew back into a snarl as I screamed at the top of my lungs, "STORMY SIT!!!"

What she heard was, "Stormy ATTACK!!!" She launched full speed at the intruder, who, when not being attacked by a fifteen pound weakling, is normally a very nice dog. Pluto, in what I believe to be an act of pure doggy grace, wrapped his entire mouth around Stormy, lifted her bodily from the ground, and threw her into the canal! Stormy swam as fast as a doggy paddle permits back into the yard and ran full speed directly into the house, cowering with fear.

After drying my dog inside, I turned my attention to the backyard and the behemoth beast that was looming at the door, tail wagging. Within a few minutes I had returned him to his rightful, yet slightly disturbed, owners and received at least forty apologies and assurances that they would pay for any vet bills. I politely declined claiming, "If your gonna be dumb, you'd better be tough," which I felt summed up both me and my dog nicely.

As it turns out every one was fine and we all learned a valuable lesson that day. The only problem is I can't remember what it is. So I turn to you, faithful readers. What deep spiritual lesson did we learn that day?

I'm Romans, What Are You?

2005-10-26T18:30:00.000-04:00

You are Romans.

Which book of the Bible are you?
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Turn Hamster into a Fighting Machine!

2005-10-26T09:31:00.000-04:00

Quite obviously, you can't read what this says. So click to Turn Your Hamster into a Fighting Machine! (Don't forget to make it larger.)